Gambling Help Mobile app

Want to take our brand new Gambling Terminator app for a test drive? We are looking for people to road test our latest app first hand and then let us know what you think by giving us your feedback.

Here’s a little bit of background for you…The innovative Gambling Terminator app helps to support gamblers by cutting down or cutting out their gambling by:

• Detecting when you’re in a NSW gambling venue
• Sending reminders
• Providing a diary
• Making Gambling Help easier to access

The way that the app works is by sending reminder messages that interrupt gaming-machine play and give the gambler a chance to re-think their choices and whether they want to continue gambling or go home.

Gambling Terminator also has a Gambling Diary feature to help users stick to their goals for cutting down time and money spent gambling. It tells users how long since they’ve last gambled, how much money they’ve lost since they signed up for the service and their triggers for gambling – such as boredom, loneliness or stress.

The app provides instant access to live phone and online counselling services which operate 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

So what do you reckon? Are you up for being a road tester?

Ok here’s how to start…Firstly, there are two versions of the app available. You can download the iPhone version here and here’s where you’ll find Android version or you can find it on our website here.

Once you’ve road tested the app, give us your feedback here.

By the way if you know anyone who might like to use the app it’s free to download so please share it.

We look forward to your feedback.

Problem gamblers can access free, confidential help 24 hours a day, seven days a week by contacting the 1800 858 858 Gambling Helpline or visiting http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au.

How much money have I really lost on gambling?

A common issue that most people face is trying to recall how much money they have lost over a lifetime. When somebody loses they tend to think ,“I’ve just lost $500”, when instead, they should be thinking “I’ve just lost another $500. I am now down $x…[replace with total loss]”.

It’s quite easy – and scary – to estimate how much you’ve lost since you first started gambling.

To do this you ask yourself ‘How many years have I been playing?’ If, for example, the answer is 10, you divide this into 3-4 periods of time – say, year 1, years 2-4, years 5–7, years 8–10.  You then estimate how much you would have lost on a weekly basis and multiply it by 52 to work out roughly how much you would have lost in a year. You then add this up for each year and you will have a rough total of how much you have lost since the beginning. Here’s an example:

• Year 1: $50/week x 52 weeks = $2600
• Years 2-4: $100/week x 52 weeks x 3 years = $15600
• Years 5-7: $200/week x 52 weeks x 3 years = $31200
• Years 8-10: $500/week x 52 weeks x 3 years = $78000
• Total losses = 2600 + 15600 + 31200 + 78000 = $127,400

You can be as detailed as you want by breaking the years into smaller spans. I often find that the last 1-2 years are the most severe so it’s a good idea to do them separately. 

Once you know your total loss you can constantly remind yourself when you win or lose. If you win $1000 you say to yourself “I am now down $126,400”. If you lose another $1000 you say to yourself “I am now down $128,400”.

Putting it into this perspective you can easily see that any win is lessened by the total amount you are still down, and any lose is even more significant, making it harder to shrug off.

So don’t tell yourself how much you’ve lost today. Tell yourself how much you’ve lost over your lifetime!

For more gambling help tips and to find FREE counselling services visit our website

Quit Gambling For Good in 2013

So you’ve tried. Maybe you went without gambling for a week, maybe two. But then, like the time before, and maybe the time before that, you found yourself thinking about it.

The urge grew stronger and before you knew it you found yourself there again. The place you promised yourself, maybe even promised your partner and family, that you would never go..,

What ever your personal hell, you were there. Your hand was in your pocket, there was less money, and even more pain, guilt and regret than you ever thought possible. BUT IT DOES NOT NEED TO BE THIS WAY. REALLY.

Let’s get something straight. Quitting gambling isn’t easy. But if you’ve really looked at what gambling has cost you (and not just the money and possessions you may have sold, but friendships, your happiness and health) and have decided you don’t want that for yourself anymore, you can turn your life around. But it takes a real desire to change, time and hard work.

Research says that someone struggling with a gambling problem can think about gambling up to 80% of the time. That’s a lot of brain time being consumed with gambling thoughts.

For many people, this is why giving up gambling is so hard. Without changing those thought patterns and filling your time with other more meaningful activities or healthier interests, it’s easy to become bored, and the lure of gambling can pull you right back in again.

Everyone has slightly different ways of dealing with things. What works for you may not work for someone else and that is why it’s so important to develop a program with a professional gambling help counsellor that works for you and your needs. This help is free, confidential, and available to everyone. There is help available every day, every hour of the day. You can call 1800 858 858 right now and get started, or you can read on a bit more…

Problem gambling, also known as gambling addiction, or compulsive gambling, is a type of impulse-control disorder and getting on top of it needs expert help.

If you find it hard to control thoughts about gambling. If you can’t stop at the limit you set. If you can’t quit even though you know your gambling is hurting not only yourself but your family, friends and loved ones, it’s likely gambling has become a problem for you, an addiction that is out of control.

The reality for many problem gamblers is that unless they get some kind of professional help they will continue to be caught up in gambling and continue to suffer its affects.

The life of a compulsive gambler is hard.

Whether you’re up or down, broke or flush, happy or depressed, you will still be thinking about gambling and find it hard to control your behaviour.

The truth is, if you’re preoccupied with gambling, spending more and more time and money on it, chasing losses, or gambling despite serious consequences, you have a gambling problem.

For a minute lets say there was an accident and you broke your leg. What would you do?  Ignore it?  Tell your leg to fix itself? Live with the pain and lie to your family and friends and yourself  while trying to get around with a broken leg?

No?  So why would you treat a gambling problem any differently?

Having a problem with gambling can make you feel isolated, as though no-one understands what you’re going through. But the truth is you don’t have to do this alone.

There are many people and services ready and able to provide help and support whenever you’re ready to take action. They can help you to take steps to control your gambling and quit. For good.

Gambling is a game of chance. No matter what we want to think, the REALITY is that the odds are always stacked against you. If you’re thinking about making changes to your life in 2012 why not try these five tips to help you change your life for good and say goodbye to problem gambling forever.

Many problem gamblers say that once they’ve taken the first active steps to deal with their situation, they immediately feel much more positive and in control.

There are things you can do today that will help you take control of your gambling:

• Self-exclusion (banning yourself from venues including pubs, clubs , casino and TAB. It is a legal process and it works. Gambling Help counsellors can help you through the paper work and support you through the process)
• Keep a gambling diary. What you’ve done, what you haven’t, how you feel. You can keep track of what gambling REALLY costs and keep focussed on WHY you don’t want gambling in your life.
• Limit your access to money (cash and credit)
• Get a helper (a family member or friend and professional support)
• Sign up for Free SMS Reminders
• Get free stuff

Self-exclusion

If you live in NSW, you have the right to ask a pub or club to exclude you either from the whole venue or from certain areas within it. In the case of clubs, at the moment you will need to sign a separate document for each club you may visit, but that is soon to change.

Currently you can self-exclude from several hotels in one go. You can also ask the casino to exclude you and have yourself banned from TABs.

Your local gambling counsellor or Gambling Help can help you to complete this process.

To exclude yourself from online or mobile phone-based gambling, visit the GamBlock website onwww.gamblock.com. This is not a free service; charges can be up to $100US per year.

Keep a gambling diary

Many people find that they learn a lot about the things that make them spend too much on gambling by keeping a gambling diary. There’s one included in our workbook, which you can order or download via the Gambling Help website

Or you might prefer to simply jot down the details in a small notebook or use the notes function on your phone.

Each time you gamble, write down the day and date; the time; the place; who you were with; how much cash you were carrying and your net win or loss. It’s also important to make a note of why you were gambling: did your friends encourage you? Were you bored, angry or stressed?

By looking back at these details later, you will probably be able to see patterns that will give you an idea of what makes you want to gamble too much. You’ll also get an idea of how much time and money you’re losing to gambling.

Limit your access to money

If you decide to gamble, leave your ATM and credit cards at home, and only take with you an amount of cash that you can afford to lose. NEVER ‘chase your losses’, or try to win back money you’ve already lost. This is the way that gamblers most often end up in serious trouble. Once you’ve lost, or won, walk away.

You can also consider asking your bank to lower the daily withdrawal limit on your ATM card. Freezing  (fill a take-away or ice-cream container with water place your card in and freeze) or shredding your credit cards, or giving them to someone you trust can also help.

Get a helper

Pick someone in your life you trust and talk to them honestly about your gambling and the fact that you would like to get more control of that aspect of your life.

Ask them if you can ‘check in’ with them once a week, or as often as you need to, to talk over the steps you’re taking to change your life. Making positive changes can be difficult when you first start. Having someone there to cheer you on can be a big source of strength and encouragement.

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know, call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 it’s available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The person at the other end of the line has talked to hundreds of people just like you, and they understand exactly what you’re going through. You can call as many times as you like, it’s free from a landline and if you’re on a mobile they can call you back.

You can also arrange to speak to the same person each time, if you prefer.                            The gambling help website also has a list of people and organisations near you who can offer free help and support.

All Gambling Help services are free, including telephone, online counselling (via email or instant chat) and face-to-face treatment and support.

Sign up for Free SMS Reminders

Are you more likely to gamble on particular days or at particular times? If so, visit the website and subscribe to our SMS messages to help remind you of your decision to get your gambling under control.

The messages include facts about gambling, encouraging messages and information about help and support.

Get FREE stuff

Gambling Help offers free materials and information to help you understand gambling and get your gambling under control, books, DVDs, workbooks. Download from www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au or order so that materials are posted to you. Everything is free.

JUST DO IT

There is no try, only do.

Take action now, call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 or go to http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au and make 2013 a year that counts.

What do you have to lose except a gambling problem that you really don’t want.

When it Comes to Gambling…

Are you telling yourself the whole truth?

While everyone knows that admitting a problem is the first step in recovery, it’s a tough ask. Our minds are fabulous at denial and we often tell ourselves so many other things before we can think about telling ourselves the truth.

We tell ourselves we win more than we lose and there’s no problem if you can afford it.

We convince ourselves a win is due, so we talk ourselves into spending one more $50 making one last trip to the ATM.

Sometimes we borrow money from people, telling ourselves we’ll pay them back with our winnings, except we don’t tell them we’ve borrowed the money and usually we don’t win.

If people have called us out on our gambling, tried to tell us we have a problem, we tell them they’re the ones with a problem – they can’t mind their own business or they don’t like to see anyone having fun.

Sometime we tell our partners or our family that we’ve quit. We tell ourselves they won’t know that we’re making up stories about where we’ve been and what we’ve spent our money on.

A quick truth test

Do you plan to spend a certain amount of money on gambling but find yourself spending more, maybe going back to the ATM or topping up your account?

Do you lose track of time when gambling? Say you’ll spend an hour and it’s usually much more.

Are you making excuses for why you can’t afford to go out with friends or why you need to borrow money?

Do you ever feeling guilty or worried about how much you spend on gambling?

Have you ever thought you could gamble and win your way out of debt?

Ever borrowed money from your friends to cover gambling debts or taken money from your family or  workplace.

Do you find you’re thinking more and more about gambling and losing interest in your friends, family or activities you used to enjoy?

What now?

It’s important that you are honest with yourself about your gambling and the harm it may be causing you or others. It’s going to be hard at first but it will help you to move forward in a positive way.

Some people find it helpful to keep a note of how much, how often, how long and who they gamble with. Keeping track is a way to really see the truth about how much you’re gambling. Often people begin to see patterns about their gambling habits and can work out what to do to get their gambling back under control.  Try writing down the time you gamble, the day and date; the place; who you were with; how much cash you were carrying and your net win or loss.  Why were you gambling? Did your friends encourage you or were you alone?  Were you bored, drunk, angry or stressed? You might want to download or order a free pocket size workbook that helps you with this and offers other ideas on controlling your gambling.

Download or order a free workbook to be sent to you in a plain envelope.

For many people, confiding in friends and family about gambling problems can be the start of real change.

Some people confide first in their partner and/or family and together seek help from Gambling Help services (anywhere in Australia call 1800 858 858) or click here for services in NSW .

While others seek professional help first before discussing the issue. Free specialist help is available whenever you need it for you and for family and friends.

It might be that your family or friends at first react with shock, anger, distress and sadness.  Sometimes it can take a bit of time for the people who care about you to understand what you’re up against.  Or you might find that they are relieved to know what is really going on – often partners or family suspect something is wrong and they’ve feared the worst.  Generally speaking, having the truth “out there” is key to gaining control of your gambling.

You may want some extra information before making any decision. Download a copy of Gambling Impact Society NSW’s Problem Gambling – A Self Help Guide for Families (4 MB) or click here to have one sent to you.

Truth time

If gambling has become a problem for you, know free, confidential, expert help and support is available anytime by calling 1800 858 858 or online. There’s no shame in getting professional help, no one will judge you or think less of you.

If family and /friends offer you support take them up on it.  You may be able to find ways of dealing with the problem or seeking help together.  Remember, the more everyone understands the truth about gambling problems the closer everyone is to being free of the problem. Gambling Help specialists will help you and your family and friends understand the truth about problem gambling and how to overcome it.

 

Building Your Quit Gambling Muscles

Having ‘stuffed up’ doesn’t mean you give up…

At gambling help we often get stories from people who have been doing well controlling their gambling, perhaps not gambling for a few weeks, and then being devastated by a fall into old patterns – angry they’ve “stuffed up again”.

While disappointing at the time, relapses are common and are part of the process. Don’t be hard on yourself, learn from the relapse, strengthen your approach and gear-up for another go.

How’s your quit muscle?

You’ve probably seen the ads on TV about quitting smoking. The one that shows the bloke has given up four times, each time he was able to be free of cigarettes a little longer, and finally he quit for good and made his life what he wanted it to be.

It’s all about resistance training, making your quit muscle stronger, and taking control of your gambling is no different. There will be stuff ups and set backs, but every time you learn more and it prepares you for quitting for good.

You probably know the basics of getting your gambling under control, but here’s a quick review and then on to the set-back fix.

Cash and credit

Limit your access to cash – lower the daily ATM withdrawal amount on your bank account, give your ATM and credit cards to someone you trust, consider having your pay put in an account without ATM access. Put money towards all your bills via Bpay on payday. Buy all your groceries, and pay for petrol or transport costs on pay day – have someone go with you.

Limit your exposure

Think about when and where you would previously gamble and avoid putting yourself at risk. Organise things to do at lunch and after work/study. Travel to and from work a different way to avoid venues.

Unsubscribe to all newsletters, websites and emails relating to gambling. Consider software to block access to gaming sites. Take the step and exclude yourself from the TAB, casino or the pubs and clubs where you used to gamble. Clubs NSW now offers multiple venue exclusion in one easy step.

Plan and occupy

Gambling takes up a lot of time and energy, removing gambling from your life means you need to fill in the gap it leaves, so plan to become more physically active and more social. Book in times and dates with friends to do things or catch up and be sure to tell them you won’t be going to places that offer gambling. Think about doing a course or joining a team sport, take up a hobby. Be extra careful to book in activities for your vulnerable times – times when you would previously be gambling.

Get a coach

Whether it’s a friend or partner, your doctor or a professional gambling counsellor, have a go-to person to do things with or call for support when you need to. Consider GA meetings.

Have the Gambling Help number 1800 858 858 on speed dial – someone who understands gambling is available every day, any time of the day, it’s free and confidential.

What to do when you slip-up

Set-backs are normal, you could have done well for a few days or a couple of weeks, maybe a few months. It’s unusual for people who are giving up not to have some close calls or complete set backs. If you fell back into old habits don’t despair, look at what happened and learn from the slip, make that quit muscle stronger.

Get a clear picture

List writing helps our minds process information and when we can work out what happened we can put measures in place to avoid repeating the same behaviour. Take a look at what was going on when you slipped up.

What made you gamble?

Where did the urge come from? Were you bored? Perhaps not filling in your free time enough? Was it something you saw, something you heard?

What made you decide to do it? Did someone encourage you to go with them? Were you thinking about money, was it payday?

Take stock

Get back to basics, remember gambling needs money, time, and a ‘game’. Revisit your money management plans, look at how you keep yourself busy and think about self-exclusion and the other ideas to keep you away from venues and gambling sites. Keeping track of your money, knowing where every dollar went and keeping a budget can help you stay focused on the real value of money.

Write down a list of the good and bad things about playing the pokies or poker whatever gambling activity you have trouble controlling. Include how you feel.

For the third list, write down how you would like your life to be, what you want to achieve by being gambling-free. Think about what you need to do step by step to make these goals come to life.

You can get a better understanding of your gambling and keep your mind on your goal to stay gambling-free by reviewing your lists everyday. Anytime you need a few more ideas or support call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 or chat to a counsellor online.

The easiest way to stay on track and pick up after a relapse is to have an expert on your side. Think about regular appointments with a gambling specialist. You can find free, confidential support near you by putting your postcode into the search box here.

Remember a relapse isn’t when you give in, it’s when you give it more. Refine your no-gambling game plan and build your quit muscles.

License to Punt

“Bring On Pokies Reform” asks the question many of us want to know the answer to “So what happened to the license to punt proposal?”

Recently “Bring On Pokies Reform” submitted a story to the Gambling Help website

http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/GamblingHelp/Story/ViewAll.aspx

Because it was such a great question and the story offered some interesting insights, this blog is based around a response to Bring On’s story.

“So what happened to the license to punt proposal? Has the government fallen for the “licence to punt is un-Australian” line? I’ll tell u what’s un-Aussie, being a dead shit who can’t afford to go out for a few beers with mates because you’ve blown every cent on pokies. How about losing the great Aussie dream- house, family, friends. All gone because we can’t stop pressing those buttons, watching those lights, being intoxicated by those sounds and waiting in agonizing, excruciating anticipation for our luck to change. If ur playing pokies ur luck is going to run out. Cmon guys – let’s get everyone who is sick of this to write msg on here! Something has to be done. We are powerless against these machines designed to steal every cent. I wish everyone good and ask you to get fighting!

We’ll get onto a quick rundown on “license to punt”, but the most important thing to note here is that everyone who has problems with pokies (80% of people who contact Gambling Help) are NOT powerless. You can call 1800 858 858 anytime, talk to an expert over the phone or online, (via email or instant chat) see a gambling specialist, and leave the pokies and their misery behind. All of these services are free and confidential and they work. To play with your words a little Bring On, it’s the pokies that are shit and you can leave them for dead.

Here’s where the pokies reform is at…

The political motivation for pokies reform was that the Gillard government needed independent Andrew Wilkie to form government and his vote was given on the condition of action on the pokies – so that people would set limits on how much they would spend before they “played”.

His position was introduce some long-overdue pokies reforms, (reforms recommended by a number of Productivity Commission investigations into Gambling) including changes to poker machine technology and gambling policy so that the potential harm caused by pokies including that people could lose up to $1,200 an hour would be curbed.

While public opinion polls showed pokies reform was supported by around 80% of the population, the industry disagreed and spent more than $40 million in advertising telling everyone it wouldn’t work and it was un-Australian etc. There was lots of talk about lost jobs and how communities would suffer because pubs and clubs would go broke and close down. A lot of politicians were very uncomfortable.

All of that became less of a problem when the Gillard government got the numbers it needed when former Liberal Peter Slipper became Speaker, so they dumped Andrew, hit hold on pokies reform and now while there is talk every now and then about problem gambling and pokies, there is little real action.

The Gillard government pokies reform bill was “watered down” according to the Greens who wanted to put through another bill and nothing much has happened. Neither the Greens nor anti-pokies senator Nick Xenophon agrees to the Government’s new plan, so it’s doomed in the Senate and unlikely to go anywhere.

Somewhere in the new bill is a trial of technology on pokies so that people can set limits before they “play”. Originally the trial was supposed to take place in Canberra starting in February next year but no agreement can be reached and it won’t surprise you to hear that it will delayed or be shelved if there is a new government.

The industry and Gillard government can’t agree and one of the reasons is that Clubs ACT reckons the government will have to give them $36 million to compensate them for lost revenue during and after the trial. There is still debate over how the technology will work and if it will be ready by 2014.

Clubs ACT Chief, Jeff House, is on record as saying “I’m waiting for parliament to pull its collective finger out of its collective arse.”  And Bring On, that about sums it up!

What now?

What all this tells us is that people will act to protect what is a very profitable industry. In Australia, pokie player losses are more than $12 billion a year. We all know that this money is taken from everyday people’s pay packets and frequently at the expense of household necessities like gas, electricity and food. The money ends up in the pokies where the venue (casino, pub or club) keeps it and provides some to the government in tax.

We know that around 60 per cent of the money lost is fed into poker machines by the 600,000 people who play them each week, and 95,000 of those people are considered problem gamblers.

Bring On, many people agree pokies are designed to “intoxicate”, they are certainly designed to make money for the venues and they often cause agonizing and excruciating problems for people who have lost control over how much time and money they spend on them.

What’s luck got to do with it?

Bring On, pokies aren’t about luck. They are computers operating programs designed so that the chances of you winning big are less than 1 in 1 million, each and every time you press the button. Their lights and sounds are geared to keep you in the zone, to keep you giving them your money, as you say to steal every cent.

It’s within your power to say no, to not give them your money. Yes get fighting, start with that first $1 you don’t put in, get free specialist help to support you in the battle (click here for free gambling help services near you, make a deal with your mates and all deny the pokies any more of your money.  Help each other and build a great Aussie dream that doesn’t include the pokies.

You can also self-exclude from venues (ban yourself and Gambling Help can assist you with this), join Get Up campaigns and other pokies reform groups and write to you local Council and local MP and let them know you want something done. All the best Bring On and everyone else looking to fight the pokies.

The Hokey Pokie Machine

Before we put our left (or right) hand into our pockets, get out our wallet and shake it all about, let’s be clear about one thing, pokie machines are not designed to help players make money.

Yes, you might sometimes have a win, but if you keep playing, you’ll most likely lose all the money you put in. Pokies are designed to make money for gambling operators and they do, by taking your money.

Australians spend more than $19 billion a year on gambling, around $12 billion is spent on the pokies.

One in six people who play the pokies regularly has a severe gambling problem. It’s not just the money lost, though the average problem gambler loses around $21,000 a year, it’s that many people lose themselves. How much of yourself have your put in to the pokies?

Pokies myths, shake it all about

Early versions of poker machines, the one arm-bandit, had reels inside that spun around to reveal a combination of winning and losing symbols.  But modern pokie machines are hardwired – computer programmed – to show predetermined combinations that will never allow the machine to pay out more than it takes in.

If you opened a pokie machine up all you would find is a computer. The symbols displayed when you win or lose are chosen by a ‘random number generator’. Because the generator is created by computer software, it is possible to make the machine display combinations that are close to winning combinations.  This can make you think that you have ‘almost won’ when you haven’t at all.

“Near wins” and other positive enforcements, like light and sound effects, tell our brains the same thing, keep playing you’re almost there, you’ve almost won. Hokey – it’s a loss dressed up as a near win to encourage you to keep playing.

The reel story

While most of us know there are no longer real “reels” inside, we still imagine our favourite pokie has virtual reels with symbols on each reel. We assume if each reel has 100 symbols on it, each symbol has a 1 in 100 chance of stopping on the centre line.

We unconsciously assume the reels are identical and assume that the chance of getting a winning symbol on reel 2, is the same as getting the winning symbol on reels 1 and 3, 4 and 5.

We think the computer spins each “reel” independently and using a random number generator, the computer chooses the centre-line symbol.

NO.

There is no standard requiring balanced (symmetrical) reels. There is no requirement that each type of symbol appears the same number of times on each reel.

In most statistical scenarios, if the reels were balanced (symmetrical) the pokies would be paying out double the money put in – instead of taking 10% to 13% of each and every play.

Most gamblers assume the reels on pokies are symmetrical – that they are balanced.

THEY AREN’T.

Reeling you in

I’ve never met a problem gambler who knew the reels were asymmetric or understood how this influenced the play.

“What! Are you saying the reels aren’t the same?”

NO. The reels are NOT the same.

Some in the industry call this reel starving.

Basically, a symbol will appear more times on some reels but fewer on one. This gives the player the expectation that the reels are identical and the impression that their chances are much better than they really are.

As players we see the reels and often imagine what we see as a near miss. We tell ourselves we’ve almost got it and that’s exactly what the machines are designed to encourage us to think.

We keep playing.  Over time we keep losing.

The machine might tell us we’ve won something, the lights and sounds insist we’re winners but make no mistake, in Australia the machines win more than $12billion a year – they get it from players.

Around 80% of people who contact Gambling Help (call 1800 858 858 anytime) have problems with poker machines.

Real help

If you or someone you care about is having trouble controlling how much money or time they spend on poker machines, free, expert help is available, over the phone, online and in services across NSW.

By seeing an experienced gambling counsellor you can learn more about gambling and how to get control.

You can see a video of how poker machines really work here or contact Gambling Help for a free DVD here.

Real help is available. It’s free, confidential and it works.

How Much Gambling is Too Much?

This is a question that comes up a lot when talking about problem gambling. It’s something counsellors are asked when people are trying to work out if someone they care about has a gambling problem and if they should intervene, and something people ask themselves if they’re starting to think gambling isn’t so much fun anymore.

So how much is too much?

It depends, and it isn’t always just about money.

The amount someone can safely spend on gambling, like how much you can safely spend on other “non-essential items” (to use budget-speak), comes down to your personal  circumstances.

Ask yourself:  what amount of money can I risk losing without it affecting my capacity to manage other set costs like rent, food, transport, bills etc.

For some people, spending a few dollars on gambling may mean they and others will have to go without weekly essentials.  For others it could be hundreds or hundreds of thousands of dollars (if we believe casino owners who talk about the wealthy “whales” they hope to attract).

Recently, a client spoke about how they were spending $300 a week on gambling, they weren’t experiencing any financial problems at this stage but they recognised that gambling was already not as exciting for them as it used to be.

They had read stories people had written on the gambling help website and were worried they would start spending more and more to get the same thrill gambling first offered them. That was something they didn’t want to happen.

For this person, gambling was a social outlet. They saw it as an entertainment expense. But, when we starting looking at value for money, how many hours of entertainment and how much socialising their $300 a week really delivered, things looked a lot different.

What social contact did gambling really bring?

Not much, they played pokies alone and didn’t really talk to anyone or meet anyone new.

What did they get for their money?

A few hours in front of a video screen that promised lots but did nothing but take $300 a week. What worried them more is that they used to think pokies were boring.

Ask yourself what you get out of gambling, if it really gives you what you want or if it’s becoming a problem.

When does gambling become a problem?

Harmful gambling is when your gambling starts to cause problems for you or others. For example, if you are starting to worry about money or have some stress associated with your gambling. Perhaps it’s causing problems in some of your relationships or taking your attention away from work or study. Maybe it’s simply no longer fun.

There could be lots of reasons you’re thinking you don’t want to gamble as much, but you’re finding cutting back is more difficult than you ever thought it would be. You’ve said to yourself I’ll just spend $20 today, but it’s never just $20.

Part of looking at if you’re gambling too much is to work out what gambling is really costing you. It’s not just the money, though financial stress is often a sign that gambling is becoming a problem, think about health, happiness and relationships too.

Some forms of gambling are more harmful than others, especially those that allow you to play continuously and lose track of how much you’re spending.  Get an idea of how much you’re spending on gambling by clicking here.

If you’re spending more time or money gambling than you want to, or someone you care about is, free information and specialist help is available. Call 1800 858 858 or go to www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au

What can I do?

If you’re asking how much gambling is too much, maybe it’s time to have a confidential chat with a Gambling Help expert, click here for free services near you or call 1800 858 858 any time, help is available every day 24 hours a day.

How to Take a Pass on Gambling Urges and Triggers

How to Pass on Gambling Urges

Triggers that fire off a gambling urge and what to do when the urge strikes

If you know the triggers that set you off on spending more time or money gambling than you want to, you can take action to avoid them and put in place an action plan so you can go into damage control and minimize the threat to your goal of gambling safe or not gambling at all.

Gambling triggers may include:

• having money (e.g., on payday)
• feeling bored, restless, angry, depressed or lonely
• money worries or rising debts
• drinking or taking other drugs
• reading the sports section and daily market figures
• passing places to gamble, TAB, pubs, clubs, casino
• spending time with friends who gambling
• regular gambling times (e.g.Friday after work or weekend football games)

Once you’ve identified your triggers, work out damage control actions for each.  Think about what you can do to avoid the triggers (protection) and how to distract yourself or get help if a trigger has spiked a gambling urge (damage control).

For example if payday is your trigger you might arrange to have your pay split into two accounts including one with no ATM access or one where a trusted friend keeps the ATM card.

Set up automatic transfers on payday so as soon as your pay hits your account the majority is transferred into a savings account.

Set up Bpay to pay set amounts to regular bills like gas and electricity.

Meet your partner or friend straight after work on payday and buy your essentials – food and groceries, petrol, transport tickets. Buy store vouchers/cards where you buy your essential items, so the vouchers can see you through to the next payday.

For each trigger you can identify, think about various activities you can do for at least 20-30 minutes to divert you from gambling thoughts, calling a friend, exercise, watching a film. Call Gambling Help 1800 858 858 anytime, every day for information and help with managing gambling or go to www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au

To instant chat or email with a gambling specialist anytime, go to www.gamblinghelponline.org.au

Gambling Problems Don’t Just Happen

Is Your Gambling Out of Control?

Are any of these things happening to you?

Gambling problems don’t usually just happen, often they build up overtime as gambling behaviour changes from social gambling to regular gambling and then compulsive or problem gambling. It’s often called the continuum of gambling, behaviours change becoming more intense with people usually gambling more often and for longer, spending more time and money.

It could happen over months or years. Often we try to tell ourselves and anyone who challenges our behaviour that nothing has changed, but we find that we need to gamble more often and place bigger bets to feel the level of excitement we used to.

Sometimes the first signs of a potential problem aren’t about money, it could be that you feel nervous or anxious if you haven’t gambled or that you’ve become obsessed with finding a system. Perhaps it’s feeling a win is due or maybe you find you’re having more arguments with family and friends.

Are any of these things happening to you?

• I can’t sleep, I worry, my health is suffering.

• My partner is threatening to leave me if I don’t stop gambling.

• I fight with people about my gambling.

• I’m tired of sneaking around, lying and hiding my losses.

• Creditors are hassling me. I’ve got lots of debts.

• Gambling is all I ever think about. It has taken over my life.

• I’ve stopped caring about things that should be important to me.

• I’ve borrowed money from so many people. I can’t face them.

• I’m afraid I’ll lose my job.

• I don’t even enjoy gambling most of the time.

• I feel like such a loser. Sometimes I hate myself so much.

If any of these thoughts have crossed your mind, gambling could be the cause. If you’d rather think about how to change your life for the better, call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 for free, confidential, expert help that works or go to our website.

 

Why Can’t I Just Stop Gambling?

You Can Stop Gambling

How did this happen?

I can’t believe the sh*t I’m in

If I stop now, I’ll be a total loser. There’s no way I can pay back all the money I owe.

If I had the money to invest, I’m sure my luck would change. I just need one more win.

Even when I win, I just lose it again.

I can’t deal with this, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for help.

I never thought it would get this bad.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

Most people who eventually come to Gambling Help (1800 858 858) say they knew they had lost control over how much time and money they were spending gambling but they tried to ignore it.  They knew they were ignoring other responsibilities too.

They knew that they were causing money problems for themselves and their family but only gambling seemed important. They thought gambling, and winning, would help them fix the problems they had created. Things got worse, and they knew they had a problem.

Even though they knew their gambling was causing problems for the people they loved, they become anxious and unhappy, and sometimes aggressive, if they couldn’t gamble. Often they hated themselves, but the urge to gamble seemed too great to resist.

For some people, not stopping gambling is more about feeling they couldn’t give up now, given all the time, money and emotion they’d put into gambling. They didn’t want to accept that they would never win back what they had lost.

Some people know the damage they are doing to themselves and their relationships but they still believe their system will pay off, their luck will change or they are due for a win.

Others believe that continuing to gamble is the only way out of a situation they are ashamed about.

Other people promise to quit, but can’t. Compelled to gamble, they also fear their loved ones will find them out. So often this means more lying about where they’ve been and greater deception over money, maybe hiding credit card bills or not making payments on household bills. This causes more unhappiness, sometimes depression, and often more and more debt.

People stuck in a gambling rut keep hoping a big win will end their problems. A win will let them pay back the people they’ve borrowed money from. A big win will mean they can buy things for themselves and their family and friends. A big win will make their life so much better. The odds are a big win never comes.

Once in a while you may win a small amount. Usually it’s no where near what you’ve put in or what you’ve lost but it’s enough to keep hope alive. My luck is changing, my win is almost here, but usually the losses just add up again.

If you are like most people who gamble too much, you may have tried to cut down or stop many times. It’s hard to change your gambling on your own and easy to fall back into harmful gambling behaviour.

Specialist counselling can help you find long-term solutions to your problems. It’s free, confidential and works.  Gambling experts won’t judge you or make you feel bad, they’re qualified specialists who will help you understand your gambling behaviour and change it. To find a free specialist near you call 1800 858 858 or enter your postcode into the search box on the homepage at www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au

What Is Gambling Counselling?

Counselling is a place to talk about how gambling has changed your life – the good and the bad. It’s safe and private, and you won’t be judged.

Counselling is free to anyone affected by problem gambling, not just the person who gambles, but partners, family, friends, children. In most areas, you’’ll find at least one agency that offers counselling for problem gambling. Phone (1800 858 858) and online counselling www.gamblinghelponline.org.au is also available using either email or instant chat. These services are available 24 hours a day, every day.

Problem gambling counsellors are specially trained to understand your difficulties. There is no shame in seeking help. It’s the first step to regaining control of gambling and working to solve problems gambling has caused.

Financial counselling or credit and debt counselling services, legal help, family counselling and other resources are also available.

Some centres offer evening and weekend appointments for face-to-face counselling. Counselling can be one-on-one, or with your partner or family. Group counselling may also be available.

Counselling is confidential. Before counselling begins, your counsellor will tell you what you can expect from counselling, and what will be expected of you. You’ll decide with your counsellor how often you want help and what you want to talk about.  You can find details of the Gambling Help centre closest to you clicking here

http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/GamblingHelp/HelpNearYou/Search.aspx

How Can Counselling Help Me?

People often wonder if they will have to stop gambling to begin counselling. You don’t. You’ll decide if you want to cut down on gambling or quit. Your counsellor will not pressure you to make changes before you are ready.

Gambling affects people in different ways. Problem gambling counsellors give you information about gambling including the odds of winning and how different kinds of gambling works.

They’ll help you look at various options so you can decide what will work best for you.

With a counsellor you might decide to take a break from gambling. Starting by setting a goal to be gambling free for a week. It might include setting a gambling budget and managing money to prioritise essentials, bills and debt repayments.

Some people know what changes they want to make through counselling and what action they want to take. Others aren’t sure. Either way, counselling will help you think about how gambling affects you, and support you until you are back in control.

Gambling counselling is a learning process

Gambling is easily misunderstood and many people have misconceptions about gambling, how easy it is to win, things you can do to improve your chances of winning, how with a win our life will change etc. Many of these ideas are not based on fact. They’re beliefs we’ve developed around systems or superstitions that lead to spending more to win more or chasing losses. In most cases, the end result doesn’t support our beliefs around gambling – we just lose more and losses can lead to debt, financial stress and a lot of other problems.

With new information, counselling can help you make good decisions – informed decisions – about the likely outcome of gambling.

Counsellors can also help you better manage some of the things that might have led you to problem gambling like boredom or stress.

Learning different ways to handle stress, healthy relaxation techniques, extending your social network, finding other things to do with your time are some of the areas counselling can help with.

Financial counselling can also help you put your finances in order. Financial counsellors can advocate on you behalf with creditors, help with debt consolidation and budgeting.

Counselling generally helps with getting your life back in balance, dealing with your urges to gamble and supporting you so you don’t slip back into problem gambling behaviours.  In supporting you to take control of you life, counselling can also help heal relationships damaged by the mistrust and feelings of betrayal often associated with gambling.

Give counselling a try, it’s about specialist support, no one will judge you. All Gambling Help services are free and confidential. Counsellors are experienced and understand gambling, call 1800 858 858 to speak with a counsellor and for referral to free face-to-face counselling services near you or enter your postcode into the search box on the homepage at www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au for service details.

Perhaps begin with emailing or instant chatting with a counsellor click here to start talking to an expert www.gamblinghelponline.org.au

It’s not just the money, headaches and other signs of gambling stress…

Hi All,

Recently I heard from Chris who was having trouble with gambling. A uni student, Chris had lost $2,000 to gambling and was not only angry over losing money he really couldn’t afford but was experiencing headaches, anxiety and other signs of gambling stress.

We all find different ways to cope with what’s happening in our lives. There are lots of coping strategies we all use, and some are helpful but some, like gambling, can be harmful. Because it’s so easily available, gambling is one way people deal with life if they feel bored, lonely, stressed or depressed. What may be helpful is to look for other coping strategies that have other benefits like exercise and increasing positive social interaction away from gambling.

Coping strategies

Feeling stressed, think about other solutions rather than gambling. Exercise can be as easy as meeting a friend for a walk or taking a four-legged friend for a walk (maybe there’s a neighbour who could use help with walking their dog)  Look into alternative ways to relax, like walking, swimming (may be more comfortable an indoor pool this time of year), yoga or meditation.

If you’re studying, many student services include social groups and advisors who may be able to put you in touch with someone or a group that you could join for any of those activities. A number of workplaces also have social clubs with activities including sports or training for events like the City to Surf, yoga, film groups and outings for foodies etc.

Managing money

Often it is money that causes us stress. For people trying to manage their gambling, it is important to put measures in place that will help you reduce financial worries and minimize opportunities to use money for gambling.

A key to managing your money is to pay for all essential items and bills first. Having a portion of your pay put into a separate account which is only accessible online is another way to limit your access to cash via an ATM.

You can also speak with your financial institution and reduce your ATM daily limit or look at options including having a trusted friend or family member hold your ATM and credit cards.

These arrangements won’t make it impossible to get at the money, but it will make it more difficult and give you more time to think about what you’re doing before you actually withdraw the money.

Self-exclusions

Another thing to thing about is self-exclusion. Basically it’s a signed agreement with a venue to ban yourself from the gaming area, or even from the whole venue. Then the staff have permission to make you leave if you’re spotted on the premises. Of course you could get around that by trying to sneak in, or by driving to somewhere further away, but by the time you’ve done that, you might have given yourself enough time to stop and think about what you’re going to do before you get there.

Self exclusions can be arranges at your venue or in some instances online. For pub exclusions refer to AHAhttp://www.ahansw.com.au/index.php/industry-information/gaming/help-for-problem-gamblers

Clubs NSW also offer exclusion from single or multiple Clubs. Gambling Help counsellors can also assist you with self exclusion.

See http://www.betsafe.com.au/self_exclusion/  You can also exclude from casinos (see casino individual websites) and TABhttp://nettab.custhelp.com/ci/fattach/get/13231/

Extra support

Remember there are people who can support you with what you are going through. Specialists who can give you ideas on managing your cash and getting your gambling under control.

If you find that you need a bit more help, you might want to look at face-to-face or online counselling. Both are free and completely confidential and are really good when you are stuck and just need someone to point you in the right direction.

If you would like to find a local gambling counsellor either call the Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858 and they can hook you up, or have a look at www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au where you can put your postcode in at the bottom of the homepage and find the details of a counsellor near you (or any area).

You can also go to Gambling Help Online and chat to a counsellor via email or live chat.

How does your gambling problem affect your child?

Most parents want the best for their children and hope that when times are tough or when there are problems within the family children are protected or don’t even notice there is a problem. Unfortunately this is rarely the case.

There is no doubt that children whose parents are problem gamblers are affected in many ways by their parent’s gambling. The saddest part is perhaps that the parent who is a problem gambler is sometimes unaware of the harm that their problem gambling is causing their child or teenager.

As a gambling counsellor, it is not unusual to hear that a client’s son or daughter is working with a counsellor on depression or anxiety issues. In this situation, the parent with problem gambling and the non-gambling parent, usually believe that their child is unaware of any gambling problem and is simply depressed because of the pressures of school, relationships and so on. Rarely does the parent with the problem gambling think that their son or daughter’s depression or anxiety could be due in part or full to their own problem gambling.

It is very important to say at this point that children may know far more than what their parents give them credit for.

A child or teenager who is thought to be asleep often hears a fight between parents about gambling such as ‘now there is no money to pay bills’.  Alternatively, they may hear a phone conversation about their parent’s gambling behaviour or have simply put all the pieces together for themselves.

Clues your child may be affected by your gambling

Some of the emotional, physical and behavioural clues that your child may be affected by your problem gambling could include the following:

• Emotional: hopelessness, anxiety, depression, confusion, hurt, guilt, loneliness, insecurity and or inadequacy and anger

• Physical: Exhibit stress-related illnesses such as asthma, allergies, chronic headaches and or chronic gastrointestinal problems

• Behavioural: running away, alcohol abuse, drug use, smoking, over-eating, lower academic school performance, criminal activity and/or attempted suicide.

Research ‘tells’ us that families where the mother is the parent with the problem gambling are more likely to be engaged in constant family arguments.  In this scenario, children may not be properly organized for school and other activities and may arrive at school without breakfast.

Children whose fathers have a problem with gambling often experience financial deprivation particularly around food, school and accommodation.

Family life suffers as a result of problem gambling. Parental neglect and withdrawal, loss of trust, loss of security and stability are common. Inconsistent discipline, emotional deprivation, physical isolation, and a strong emphasis on money or material possessions are also negative outcomes of life affected by problem gambling.

Children whose parents are problem gamblers experience feelings of pervasive loss, including the loss of the parent in both the physical and emotional sense, the loss of a relationship with their extended family, loss of savings and other assets and sometimes the loss of the family home.

Children who grow up in families with problem gambling also may experience high rates of parental violence, abuse and separation and are twice as likely to attempt suicide themselves.

Finally, research indicates that children growing up in families affected by problem gambling were more likely to develop gambling problems themselves than children raised in non problem gambling families even after controlling for other factors.

Some young people have told me that they first started gambling because they simply wanted to understand what was in gambling for their mother or their father, who were absent from their lives in many different ways.

If you’re concerned that gambling is affecting your family, remember that it is not too late to stop gambling and rebuild your relationships with your son and or daughter. Phone the Gambling Help Line on 1800 858 858 or go online now and talk to a gambling counselor at Gambling Help Online.

The Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 is a source of support for young people.

More information about the impact of your problem gambling on your child is available by clicking on this link. 

This blog is based on studies undertaken by the Problem Gambling Research & Treatment Centre for Gambling Research Australia in the Children at Risk of Developing Problem Gambling Project. For more information click here.

Yellow Submarines & Blue Cars

If I said that I want you not to think about yellow submarines for the next five minutes. Do you think you could do it? Have you got that? You are not to think about yellow submarines, don’t think about yellow submarines for five minutes.

If you think about a yellow submarine, I want you to record each time, with a tick on a piece of paper or by counting the number of times you think about a yellow submarine on your fingers. Ok?

Start now, remember no yellow submarines for five minutes…

SO how did you go?

For most people, just the act of trying not to think about something, let alone the repetition of the words and the action of recording failures, dooms them to fail.

By striving not to think of something, all of sudden it’s all we can think about. We obsess about it. This especially seems the case for people trying to address problem gambling.

For many of us, by obsessing about not gambling we are more likely to hit the triggers that lead to urges and possibly a lapse or relapse. It can be very demoralising and makes the task of behaviour change ie to be without gambling, even harder.

Trade in your yellow submarine for a blue car

Now I want you to try another exercise. I want you to think about blue cars for the next five minutes. Got that? Blue cars. Imagine driving a shiny blue convertible with the wind in your hair. Blue cars zipping down a freeway. Any blue car will do.

Every time you think of a blue car in the next five minutes I want you to count on your fingers, or  keep score.  Can you do that? Start now…

So how did you go? It’s certainly much easier to think of “something” than it is to “not think about something”, isn’t it?

When we are looking to give up gambling, the challenge is to turn yellow submarines into blue cars.

Change your thoughts change your behaviour

In helping clients put in place strategies to achieve a successful change of behaviour we look at the four areas of time, money, venue and desire. Because these are the four elements that are needed to gamble. You have to have the time to gamble. You have to have money. A place to gamble and most importantly you have to want to gamble.

Tackle time

When we look at the element of time, we look at what are the danger times (when are you most likely to gamble) and then we look at the things that you can do at those times. Not just to keep busy, but we look at the things that are enjoyable, activities that will engage you. By engagement we mean you’re so absorbed time just passes. Those are the Blue Cars we want!

We also look at things that you may have enjoyed doing in the past but stopped doing. Those activities could also be your blue cars! If we focus our attention on the things that we can do other than gambling and you really throw yourself into those activities, you’ll find your enjoyment in those activities will help you spend less time thinking about gambling.

Make a map of where you want to go

As you identify your “blue cars” create reminders of what you want to achieve and record your success – a photo of you doing your blue car activity, pictures, a movie ticket stub or other momentos.

Keep your reminders around you, maybe on a notice board, by your bed, stick them on the bathroom mirror or the fridge or keep a file on your phone. Change and update them regularly so that they don’t become stale or just part of the same old scene.

You want your reminders, symbols and successes to pop back into your mind when you least expect them to get you thinking about them again and to refresh your resolve and intentions.

Money, venue, and desire

Take the same “blue car” approach to money, venue and desire.  What else can you spend your money on, where else can you go for entertainment or to meet up with friends, what else would you like to do? Write lists and create or find pictures that will help you think about activities that you will enjoy, things that will engage you instead of that old regular, familiar and persistent behaviour of gambling.

When you’re looking to get rid of a gambling behaviour don’t get sunk by yellow submarines. Instead, focus on new goals and keep to your plans that will help you drive your blue car to success.

Counsellor Sam

I’m not the person with the problem but problem gambling is making my life hell…

Problem gambling not only affects the person gambling but the behaviours and actions associated with gambling addiction commonly affect the life of 10 or more family and friends close to the person with a gambling problem.

One of the great tragedies of gambling problems is that it is often the families of a person with a  problem gambling who suffer the most. Partners are often confused, angry and feel helpless as the household budget is pressured and money worries escalate – but they may not know that gambling is the issue. Children can feel neglected or fearful when arguments break out.

It is not uncommon for a problem gambler to be spending so much time and money on gambling that financial stress (inability to pay bills, increasing debt) and relationship problems (arguments about missing money and time spent away, lying, feelings of betrayal) start to add to the difficulties problem gambling causes.

It is not uncommon for the family, especially spouses and kids, to feel that it’s their fault. Sometimes because of the arguments that get used when the problem gambler is desperate to deflect guilt or justify actions their actions, partners or family may feel they are to blame. The reality is it’s not your fault!

As a partner or family member what can you do?

When in contact with a problem gambler, life can become incredibly difficult and confusing. Amongst the financial pressure and feelings of hurt and desperation, all we want is for the gambling to stop, but it can be hard to know the right things to say or to know what to do.

Get professional help and support

Seek help for yourself and your family. Family and friends of problem gamblers often don’t think to get help for themselves, but this is very important to ensure YOU receive the support you need. The information and skills you learn by seeing a problem gambling specialist may help your partner/family member to stop gambling, but is not the primary goal. By seeing an experienced gambling counsellor you can address the suffering and problems that gambling is causing you and get help to address the situation. FREE counselling for partners, friends and family members can be easily arranged by calling Gambling Help on 1800 858 858.

Limit your exposure to financial difficulties

Set up separate accounts, keep credit cards and cash safe. You might need to consider transferring assets into your own name. If you need financial assistance, financial counsellors can help you organise things and are available free through Gambling Help on 1800 858 858. Specialised free legal help is also available.

Don’t make excuses, bail out or enable

It is very important that family and friends don’t lend the problem gambler money or help them access loans or credit.

Not only can lending money expose family members to financial difficulties (rarely will the money be returned), bailing out a problem gambler also maintains the situation – nothing will change.

Giving the gambler more money or credit increases the problems and prevents the problem gambler from admitting there is a problem and learning to take responsibility for their own actions.

Similarly, don’t help a problem gambler negotiate with creditors, employers or banks.  You can let them know a financial counsellor can assist them and that free help is available (through Gambling Help on 1800 858 858) but don’t jump in and fix things.

Offer support without judgement

It’s very difficult not to be judgmental or make ultimatums when dealing with a problem gambler, but generally speaking, the bigger the issue you make of the gambling problem, the harder it can be for the gambler to stop.

People with gambling problems often do not enjoy gambling and know that they should stop, but may find it very difficult to know how. Try not to harass them or demand they stop immediately. Instead, encourage them to be open and honest with you about their gambling problems, and if you feel safe, let them know in a calm way, how the gambling has affected you/your children/family etc, let them know free, expert help is available.

Violence

Unfortunately domestic violence is an issue that occurs regularly in conjunction with gambling problems. If you or your family are at risk of violence, you need to leave urgently and phone Lifeline on 131114 or if you are in imminent danger phone the Police 000.

Legal advice

You may need legal advice to secure assets, deal with debtors, make separation arrangements, arrange divorce proceedings or help with criminal charges that have arisen from stealing to support gambling. It is important to organize legal advice before things get out of control. Through Gambling Help free legal advice is available via the Wesley Community Legal Service 02 9263 5577 It can help to get a different and fresh perspective. For more information, visit the family and friends section on  www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au You can also download a free family help guide or request a free copy to be sent to you by clicking here http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/GamblingHelp/SelfGuide.aspx

Recovering from a Gambling Relapse

Recover from a relapse with these tips

Revisiting your game plan after a relapse, giving gambling the boot and getting back where you want to be

You’ve probably seen the ads on TV talking about quitting smoking. The one that shows the bloke has given up four times, each time he was able to be free of cigarettes a little longer, and finally he got free, he quit for good and made his life what he wanted it to be.

Just like people have been able to quit smoking, taking back control of your gambling is no different. There will be stuff ups and set backs, but every time you quit, you learn more and it prepares you for quitting for good.

You probably know the basics of getting your gambling under control, but here’s a quick review and then on to the set-back fix.

Cash and credit

Limit your access to cash – lower the daily ATM withdrawal amount on your bank account, give your ATM and credit cards to someone you trust, consider having your pay put in an account without ATM access. Have all your bills paid by Bpay on payday. Buy all your groceries, and pay for petrol or transport costs on pay day – have someone go with you.

Limit your exposure

Think about when and where you would previously gamble and avoid putting yourself at risk. Organise things to do at lunch and after work/study. Travel to and from work a different way to avoid venues.

Unsubscribe to all newsletters, websites and emails relating to gambling. Consider software to block access to gaming sites. Take the step and exclude yourself from the TAB, casino or the pubs and clubs where you used to gamble. Clubs NSW now offers multiple venue exclusion in one easy step.

Plan and occupy

Gambling takes up a lot of time and energy, removing gambling from your life means you need to fill in the gap it leaves, so plan to become more physically active and more social. Book in times and dates with friends to do things or catch up, join a class or team sport, take up a hobby. Be extra careful to book in activities for your vulnerable times – times when you would previously be gambling.

Get a coach

Whether it’s a friend or partner, your doctor or a professional gambling counsellor, have a go-to person to do things with or call when you need to. Consider GA meetings and have the Gambling Help number 1800 858 858 on speed dial – someone who understands gambling is available every day, any time of the day.

What to do when you slip-up

Set-backs are normal, you could have done well for a few days or a couple of weeks, but if you fell back into old habits don’t despair, look at what happened and learn.

Get a clear picture

List writing helps our minds process information and when we can work out what happened we can put measures in place to avoid making the same mistakes. Take a look at what was going on the first day you slipped up.

What made you gamble this time?

Where did the urge come from? Were you bored? Perhaps not filling in your free time enough?

What made you decide to do it?

Take stock – make lists

Get back to the real issues, keep track of your money and make a note about every dollar you spend. Keeping a budget can help you stay focused on the real value of money.

Write down a list of the good and bad things about playing the pokies or poker whatever gambling activity you have trouble controlling.

Write down another list detailing how you feel when you play the pokies or gamble (the good and bad feelings).

For the third list, write down how you would like your life to be, what your goals are

As the last list, write down step by step what you need to do to make these goals come to life. It might include things like starting a new hobby or a sport, joining a club like a book club, or some other way of finding friends that don’t gamble so you can have fun without gambling being a part of your life. Starting a budget is another good idea!

You can get a better understanding of your gambling and keep your mind on your goal to stay gambling free by reviewing your lists everyday. Anytime you need extra help call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 or chat to a counsellor online at gamblinghelponline.org.au

Managing Gambling Worry

Managing Worrying Thoughts

Are you constantly thinking about gambling?

The difference between thinking about things you really like and thinking about something you used to like, say your gambling, is that it is likely that your gambling thoughts are now unpleasant and make you feel bad.

Heavy and even moderate gamblers sometimes worry about their losses, think about the reasons they didn’t stop when they were in front, and worry about how much debt they owe and how to re-pay or how they will  pay their bills and even buy food.

Gambling tends to be all consuming.  Many gamblers find much of their time is spent planning the next time they will gamble, trying to work out where will they get more money to gamble and what excuses they need to tell at home or at work so they can go and gamble.

People dealing with worrying thoughts about their gambling might feel depressed, anxious and this emotional upset may even further fuel their need to gamble. (If you are having suicidal thoughts call Gambling Help 1800 858 858 or Lifeline immediately).

If problem gamblers fall into the trap of gambling again, unfortunately rather than recouping losses as they hoped, they end up losing even more money and the worrying thoughts start all over again – perhaps even worse.

Binge gambling can result in very heavy losses. This can happen when heavy drinking gets mixed in with the gambling or you are really desperate and lose control.

If you are going out, stick to some basic rules like only taking small amounts of cash with you and not taking ATM or credit cards. If you are going to drink, drink responsibly to avoid fuelling a gambling binge and the inevitable gambling hangover.

 Managing worrying thoughts on gambling

Sometimes gamblers think they have had enough of these worrying thoughts and try to stop them ‘head on’ only to find this actually makes them worse.

Let the thoughts be and focus on what you are actually doing when the thoughts strike. Distract yourself, call up a friend, start watching a movie, do some work about the house, focus on your work, perhaps make yourself lunch or dinner, go for a walk, head to the gym or meet up with friends to play a game or go for a run. Plan a list of things you can do and then when the gambling urge strikes, do something off that list

When battling gambling urges, you need to stay “present in the moment’. You need to do something physical as well as distract your mind so you do not feed the gambling cycle by worrying about past gambling or planning future gambling.

If you are aware that you are worrying about gambling and want to stop distract yourself by doing something you enjoy.

Some gamblers keep a diary of their thoughts and then when thinking clearly, sit down and try to question the accuracy of them.

Other people find that by allocating specific worrying time of around half an hour per day, that their worrying gambling thoughts do not intrude into other areas of their life such as their work and relationships.

Many people find meditation, yoga and relaxation very helpful in keeping their intrusive gambling thoughts under control. These kind of activities also help people sleep more restfully.

Remember by sometimes giving your worrying thoughts “a voice” (by talking to a trusted person’ a counsellor, doctor, good friend or family member) you can keep your gambling worries under control and work on staying away from gambling.

Need more information on managing your gambling problems? Call Gambling Help 1800 858 858 or talk to an online counsellor here www.gamblinghelponline.org.au or visit www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au for information and to find free Gambling Help services near you.

Take the first step now. Get some FREE, confidential, expert help, get your gambling under control and cut those gambling worries in half.

20 things/20 minutes – Surfing your way through change

Urge Surfing

Often we do things simply because we get the urge to do it. No thinking, we just want to, we just feel like it, so we do it. Sometimes this urge is so powerful that no matter what we think we just have to do it. Urges are what makes changing a behaviour a pretty hard thing to do. Also urges aren’t constant. The come in waves like the sea. So fighting an urge is like a soldier facing one battle after another. Like the sea hitting the shore in the end an urge can wear you down or crush you.

Urges come in waves and they also vary in intensity. If you resist an urge then eventually the intensity and duration of the wave decreases. If you stop a behaviour, eventually it becomes pretty hard to remember why you did it and the urge is gone. On the other hand feed the urge and its back next time just as intense and just as hungry. So hungry that you can’t beat it back with a stick.

A way to beat an urge is to treat it like the sea and surf it.

This is called “urge surfing” and how you do it is when you feel an urge, do something that you enjoy and that engages you for 20 minutes (the maximum time an urge lasts for). That’s right, watch a movie, read a book, doodle, walk, draw, work out, shop, have sex, anything just so long as it engages you and you enjoy it. So think about the things that give you joy (other than the thing you have the urge for, obviously) and write a list of at least 20 things that you can do for 20 minutes. A 20/20 list! Carry the list with you, stick it on your fridge or somewhere where you will see and read it every day …then review and update it regularly – keep what works and get rid of what doesn’t.

Make urge surfing a part of your plan to beat problem gambling and you will be on your way to a successful change. Another part of a successful plan is to get a good support team on your side, to help you on your list, review how things are going and help you put into place all the other steps that help make changing a behaviour you don’t want and don’t need a successful change. You can call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 and they can give all the right contacts in your area.

Self Exclusion – The Facts

There is some debate around whether self exclusion is a sufficient tool for those with a gambling issue. So let’s look at the facts first.

The Facts:

Venues are required to offer a self-exclusion scheme to patrons, on request, and a venue cannot refuse a patrons request for self-exclusion. Any self-exclusion scheme ran by a venue must meet the requirements of the Gaming Machines Regulation.

The Venue must:

• Publicise the availability of the scheme and information on how it operates to patrons of the venue
• Prevent the venue from refusing a participants request
• Allow the participant to specify the part, or parts, of the venue from which they are to be excluded (the participant may choose to be excluded from the entire venue, or just the gaming machine areas or even a total gambling ban)
• Give the participant a written and signed undertaking that he or she will not be allowed to gamble at the venue for a period specified e.g. 6 months to 4 years, and this can be renewed at the end of the period
• Give the participant the opportunity to seek independent legal or other professional advice at his or her own expense as to the meaning and effect of the undertaking before it is given
• Give the participant written information outlining the name and contact details of the gambling-related counselling service the venue has entered into an arrangement with
• Ensure that responsible persons for the venue can readily identify the participant- by means of access to a recent photograph of the participant
• Prevent a participant from withdrawing from the scheme within three months after requesting participation in the scheme

Ok, so they are the facts, what about the process?

If you are looking to self-exclude you will go through a legal process and sign legal deeds stating that YOU will not enter the area of the venue YOU chose to exclude from. It is a promise you are make by YOURSELF to YOURSELF. You are not formally setting out to involve anyone else in this process. The onus is on you to keep your promise to yourself. You can self-exclude at the venue or go to a gambling counsellor.

What about the venues?

Well the venue will ask you to leave if, despite your promise to stay out you enter the gaming area (or area you specified). But the venue is under no legal obligation to help you, more to the point it is VOLUNTEERING to help you. The ability for the venue staff to immediately and accurately identify your whereabouts in the venue is open to human error, and, considering the size of some of the venues, this can be a difficult task! But most venues are vigilant about helping patrons stick with their decision to self-exclude and will ask you to leave if you are found in there. If you refuse to leave when asked the venue may physically escort you out. If you still refuse to leave the police may be called and you could be charge with ‘Failure to leave premises’ which attracts a $550 fine.

For most people that self-exclude, the fear of the embarrassment by being asked to leave is reason enough to not enter that gaming area, but for others the temptation to gamble is just too strong, and they will test the system time and time again. If this continues to happen the venue can elect to exclude you from the entire venue without your permission.

A new Multi Venue Self Exclusion tool is currently being rolled out across the state. This tool allows you to exclude from up to 25 venues in one easy step. This will make self-excluding easier for patrons.

But does it work??

In smaller venues self-exclusion works extremely well, everyone knows everyone and it is easier for staff to identify a self-excluded patron. This can be a little trickier in larger venues, but most are on the ball and will not let you enter once you have self-excluded.

But are we missing the point?

As stated earlier, self-exclusion is a promise you are making to yourself! YOU are responsible to not breech your promise. YOU are responsible for yourself! The venue and the self-exclusion are just there to make it a little easier.

A final note:

Self-exclusion is just one tool problem gamblers can use to help control their gambling. The most proven method to help problem gamblers is counselling. Combine the two….. And your chances of beating your problem increase tenfold. So why not give it a try?

Counsellor Sam

Is Gambling Getting to You?

Do you think about gambling 24/7?

There are many people who enjoy gambling, whether it’s trying your luck on a horse, playing poker online or spending a few dollars on a night out at the casino with friends. The majority of people who gamble don’t have a problem, but unfortunately there are others who completely lose control of their gambling and spend their every waking moment thinking about gambling or planning when they are going to gamble again.

Continually thinking about gambling tends to spiral and often leads to unpleasant thoughts. Heavy and even moderate gamblers sometimes worry about their losses and think about the reasons they didn’t stop when they were ahead.  They also worry about how to pay their bills and even buy food. People struggling to keep their gambling under control often spend money that is allocated for household expenses and other things on gambling in the hope that they will get a win.  Much of their time is spent planning the next time they will gamble, where they’ll get money from and what excuses they may need to tell family and friends or employers to enable them to spend time gambling.

Becoming preoccupied with gambling tends to make gamblers feel depressed, sometimes suicidal and anxious and may further fuel their need to gamble. Remember if you are having suicidal thoughts, call Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 or Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24hrs) to access support services and help immediately.

Unfortunately, rather than recouping losses as intended, many gamblers end up losing even more money and then the worrying thoughts start all over again. They are caught up in a cycle of chasing their losses and are never are able to come out on top.

Did you know the average Australian gambler spends $21,000 a year? That’s a third of the average annual wage. How much do you spend a year? This hard-earned money could have been spent on bills, a mortgage or taking the family away on a relaxing vacation or many other activities.

Problem gamblers are four times more likely to suffer from alcohol abuse.  Binge gambling, with very big losses, mostly happens when heavy drinking gets mixed in with gambling. If this is a problem for you, try to make some rules for yourself such as not taking money or credit cards with you when you go out drinking, or try not to drink when you gamble. If you try to drink sensibly you can perhaps avoid both a gambling hangover and the other kind.

Families can be affected if a spouse is a problem gambler. In many instances, heavy gambling leads to the loss of quality time spent together as a family.  This lost quality time can never be recovered and partners can become resentful when their partner is spending a lot of their time gambling either at a venue or preoccupied by online gambling.

Did you know that people with gambling problems are six times more likely than non-gamblers to get divorced? Whether you’re a partner, friend or relative, there are many sources of help and support for you as well as for those who have a gambling problem just click here.

The good news is that many people can control their compulsive gambling with therapy and working with a specialist to put strategies in place to overcome urges and better manage thoughts and behaviours.

Here are a few ways to manage worrying thoughts about gambling:

• Sometimes gamblers think they have had enough of these worrying thoughts and try to stop them ‘head on’ and by going ‘cold turkey’ trying to quit only to find this actually makes them worse.
• Try to just let the thoughts be, focus on what you are actually doing such as talking to your friend, watching a movie, working, eating, walking, exercising and so on. This means ‘staying present in the moment’ and not worrying about past gambling or planning future gambling.
• If you are aware that you are worrying about gambling and want to stop, try to distract yourself by doing something you enjoy, perhaps visiting a friend (away from the gambling venue) going to the gym, walking, running etc.
• Some gamblers keep a diary of their thoughts and then when thinking clearly, sit down and try to question the accuracy of them, questioning is it really easy to win or do you always win, whether they really are ahead etc.
• Some people find that by allocating specific worrying time (around half an hour per day), their worrying gambling thoughts do not intrude into other areas of their life such as their work and relationships.
• Some people find meditation, yoga and relaxation very effective techniques for coping with their intrusive gambling thoughts. This also helps with stress and enables them to sleep more restfully.

Remember by sometimes giving your worrying thoughts ‘a voice by talking to a trusted person’ (a counsellor, doctor, good friend, family member) you can feel better and gain effective longer term relief. Call Gambling Help 1800 858 858, click on this link to talk to an online counsellor or visit www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au to find information and strategies to tackle problem gambling.

Help! My Partner is a Gambling Addict!

My partner has a problem with gambling and I didn’t know and I’m devastated…

Gambling addictions are unlike any other addiction – there are no obvious physical signs, so people can more readily hide their gambling problem and it is common for problem gambling to go on for years, perhaps becoming a bigger problem, as time goes on.

Gamblers become skilful at hiding their addiction from their partner perhaps for fear of losing them. The early-warning signs of gambling addictions often go unrecognised until there are devastating consequences for the partner and/or family members. The secrecy and lying surrounding the gambling commonly causes the disclosure to be sudden, drastic and devastating and it is not unusual for the partner of a problem gambler to feel betrayed.

Some partners become extremely anxious as a result of this disclosure and continue to worry whether their partner is continuing to gamble, they may also become vigilant about finances and time-keeping i.e. needing to know where their partner is at any time of the day.  Many partners become dissatisfied with aspects of the relationship and may even decide to leave the relationship.

Partners of problem gamblers commonly withdraw from friends and family members as they also feel much shame – and their partner often does not want their gambling disclosed to friends or family which can add to the pressure and isolation partners feel as they have to decide whether to keep this secret or not.

For many partners, physical and mental health can become an issue as they become tired or exhausted or begin to feel a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. In some instances, partners may also feel depressed or suicidal, and the gambler may even blame them for their gambling adding stress and pressure to the situation.

For many partners, learning their partner has a gambling problem is traumatic – as they were completely unaware of the extent of the gambling, there is a sense that their world has been turned upside-down.

Some partners experience blame, humiliation, anger, resentment and breach of trust due to the secrecy and continual lying that commonly surrounds problem gambling. And even though they have done nothing wrong, many partners feel guilt and shame, they also constantly worry about their future.

The financial consequences of problem gambling can also be sudden and devastating for the partner or other family members. Many discover large extensions on mortgages, very high credit card debts, money owed to family and friends, or perhaps illegal debts. There may be many unpaid bills, an inability to pay bills or make ends meet.

These consequences are often life-changing for the partner. Sometimes entire assets are at risk including the family home and there may be additional worries if the gamblers has committed crimes to fund their gambling or lost their job.

As their sense of financial security is destroyed, many partners lose trust in their partner and the relationship can be threatened.

Some partners will try to take over the management of the money and determine the priority of payments. Often this causes more stress in their relationship with their gambling partner as they are now faced with dealing with lawyers, bankruptcy trustees and creditors.

As a result of taking over the financial affairs, communication between partners may also become impaired and the partner may also be at much greater risk domestic violence. Should this occur or if you fear that you are being threatened and need help immediately call the Police. Other services to assist include DoCS Domestic Violence Line (24/7) phone 1800 656 463 or TTY 1800671442, Domestic Violence Advocacy Service 02 8745 6999 or 1800 810 784 (TTY 1800 626 267 ) or contact the Domestic Violence Liaison Officer at your local police station.

Many partners also make changes to their life and make sacrifices that also impact of the lives of their children, perhaps returning to work earlier than planned, working more hours or sometimes two jobs as well as drawing on any savings of their own, borrowing from their family and cutting back on the family budget. How much do you spend on gambling?

Financial consequences for a partner are long-lasting and sometimes the partners or family members are unable to recover fully financially long after the gambling has stopped.

Partners/family members also feel responsible for the mental health and well being of the gambler as some may become depressed, anxious, have attempted suicide or sadly have successfully committed suicide.

It is important to take all threats of suicide seriously and call the police if you believe the threat is imminent, otherwise call Lifeline 13 11 14, Gambling Help 1800 858 858 or contact your local GP.

Family members and partners often feel isolated and are very welcome to access free help at gambling, financial and legal counselling centres. Call Gambling Help 1800 858 858 for information on gambling as well as referrals to gambling, financial and legal counsellors if required.

Partners may request individual or family gambling counselling when phoning Gambling Help.

Partners of gamblers sometimes attend gambling counselling for support and skills to help them cope with this situation and to rebuild their confidence.

Counselling also provides a safe place to work through how they are feeling about their relationship and to determine whether they will stay or leave the relationship. Through counselling partners can learn how to protect themselves from debts incurred by any future gambling by their partner.

Partners, friends and family members of gamblers, can also find information and support online. At Gambling Help Online you can begin live chat or email with a counsellor any time of the day, any day.

If you would like a copy of a very helpful booklet recently published by the Gambling Impact Society NSW Inc called ‘Problem Gambling A Self Help Guide for Families’ click here.

Or you can ask Gambling Help to send you a free copy.

This booklet  thoroughly explains problem gambling, its impacts, how to identify it, how to protect yourself, how to seek help and contains many personal stories that may help you understand problem gambling and the impacts it can have on family and friends.

To sum up partners are placed in very difficult and stressful situations by their gambling partners and it is important to seek help when feeling overwhelmed – call 1800 858 858 or go to www.gamblinghelponline.org.au for help and referral to free services near you.

The Pokies Play Tricks On My Mind

Mind Bending Pokies

In the week I had a message from JKS who is struggling with keeping gambling under control – in particular pokie machines. They talk about the tricks their mind plays and how they feel about telling lies to their family to cover up where they have been and where their money has gone.  Read JKS story below and my comments that might help JKS and others trying to keep themselves away from pokies.

JKS writes…

The problem with pokie machines is YOU THINK the next time you push that button, a feature will appear. I am 23 years old and I believe there are many factors why I gamble. Living expenses increase every year, so my mind would trick me into thinking IF I risk $100 of my pay, I could potentially get $200 back.

But the problem is, even if I did win $200, sometimes my mind would think MAYBE just maybe I can make it $300.

The fact is, when you are a gambler like myself, more often than not, it is NEVER enough, no matter how much you win. Winning is a thrill, living the moment, but you are not winning, in fact, when you’re losing you’d feel down, lonely and think no one in the world would understand what you’re going through.

I feel ashamed when I walk into a club by myself. When you see other people by themselves you know chances are they are addicted gambling as well.

I have recently been promoted. Part of the reason why I work so hard is that once I get a pay increase, I have more money to gamble with. I am also undergoing a Bachelor Degree, I have the most supportive family anyone could ask for, everything in my life seems so perfect BUT I have an addiction and no one knows about it.

I can’t justify to my partner where my pay goes every week. I started making up little white lies hoping he’d be stupid enough to believe me, but sooner or later he’ll see through me.

I lost $300 tonight, and I am DETERMINED to quit as of today. If I have the guts to post something like this in a public forum, I am willing to give it my best shot and I mean it. It may fail, but AT LEAST I am self-aware now, my mind will learn to make judgements for both pros and cons of gambling, whereas in the past I had been one-sided about gambling.

I SUGGEST ANYONE OUT THERE WITH A GAMBLING PROBLEM, THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU’D SAVE IF YOU DIDN’T GAMBLE. THINK ABOUT THE TIME YOU COULD HAVE USED TO DO MORE CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS. THINK ABOUT WHAT IF YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP LOSING. THINK ABOUT ALL THE LIES YOU’LL HAVE TO MAKE TO COVER YOUR TRACKS. AND FINALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT THE MACHINES WHEN THEY ARE DESIGNED TO TAKE YOUR MONEY.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU WALK INTO A CLUB AGAIN. LET’S ALL QUIT TOGETHER.

Congratulation JKS on realising that you are not going to win at gambling the longer that you gamble. Want to know how the pokies really work?  You may get tricked into believing that a miss is nothing more than a near-miss.

You can order the free DVD here.

Some people with gambling problems have told me that they watch it over and over again and that this helps them to take control of their gambling.

Well done on realising that if you have a win that it will not make up for what you have already spent on gambling.

I think it is important for you to acknowledge that your gambling may have started because you thought that it was an easy way to get money. Perhaps when you first started gambling you had a few wins which took the pressure of your rent payments and you began to falsely think “if I gamble I can get money”.

Unfortunately gambling may start for one reason but can continue for another reason. It sounds as if you have become more and more desperate and fallen into the pattern of chasing your losses – this is very common.

It is time to say to yourself “what is lost is lost and I can never get this back”.

As you say, winning may be ‘a thrill – living the moment’ but you raise the question of what really is a win?

How much do you really need to cover all your losses? What happens to the money that you actually win?

The longer that you gamble the more likely you are to lose more money. I wonder if it is really ‘a thrill – living the moment’ when you lose?

I have heard from other people with gambling problems that when they are losing (which ultimately long-term gamblers eventually do), they feel very alone and depressed, and that their last thought at night and their first thought the next day is about gambling.

JKS you say that no one will understand. A gambling counsellor is someone that you can talk to about the distress that you are going through and they understand gambling.

If you are feeling depressed and suicidal it is very important that you seek help immediately and tell those around you or contact Lifeline 13 11 14 or Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 or see your GP.

Many people with gambling problems feel shame. They feel guilty as they have been continually lying to their partners, family members and friends about where they are and what they are doing. It sounds as if you feel sad for the other people you see who are gambling, as you know first-hand the affects of heavy gambling on yourself and those around you and that the people gambling near you appear to have no awareness of this.

JKS it seems that it is very important to change your motivation for hard work and study to something that will provide a reward for you in some other positive way – other then just to have more money to spend on gambling.

I wonder, perhaps if you were to think about other forms of entertainment or activities that you enjoy or holidays that you may wish to go on, or purchases that you would like to save for, could this keep you motivated and take your focus?

It sounds important to try to get real meaning back into your money so that you do not just see it as ‘money means gambling’. What else could money mean for you?

I believe that you are putting tremendous efforts into your study and work achievements, and I wonder if these are endeavours that you happily share with your partner and family as you are very proud of what you have achieved and how hard you are working.

On the other hand, it sounds like you are also putting a lot of effort into your gambling but that this time and effort does not have the same positive results as your study and work.

I suspect you would not feel proud telling your partner or your family about any of your wins at gambling.

JKS, the first step in breaking the cycle of chasing your losses is to be honest about your gambling and to seek help. Please contact Gambling Help on 1800 8585 858. Gambling Help will be able to assist you with some immediate strategies and can refer you to a gambling and/or a financial counsellor if you would like this – and it’s all free.

Sometimes attending counselling can provide more insight into your gambling and assist you with implementing strategies to stop gambling. Clicking on the link to talk immediately to an online gambling counsellor may be another option.

It is fantastic that you have posted this message about ‘thinking’ for anyone who has a gambling problem to consider – it’s a great message:

Think about how much you’d save if you didn’t gamble.

Think about the time you could have used to do more constructive things. Think about what will happen if you keep gambling and keep losing,

Think about all the lies you’ll have to make to cover your tracks.

Finally think about what makes you think you can beat the machines when they are designed to take your money.

Just think about it before you walk into a club again.

Let’s all quit together.

It’s really great JKS that you sound very determined to stop gambling. In stopping gambling the next step is to take action and put in place strategies to protect yourself from gambling such as only carrying the money that you need, not carrying ATM/credit cards, lowering your daily ATM withdrawal limits and not borrowing money from friends and so on.

It may help you to work out an action plan for what you can do if you have an urge to gamble such as reading, listening to music, walking, calling a friend, going to the gym and so on.

It may also help to be mindful about where you are going and what you are doing. It may help to set up direct debits for accounts that need to be paid. A financial counsellor can assist you with this should you need this.

JKS do you have anyone that you can trust who could be your support person? Would you consider asking your partner or one of your supportive family members at this stage?

If you click on this link you will have access to a very helpful gambling workbook with more strategies and explanations about gambling.  You can also order this book for free from the gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au site.

Some people who want to stop gambling find it helpful to sign up for free SMS message reminders at the times that they are most likely to gamble.

‘Self Exclusion’ from gambling venues maybe another option that you may want to discuss with counsellors at Gambling Help 1800 858 858.

JKS, once you have implemented strategies to stop gambling they will eventually become routine and if you decide to hand your money to a trusted support person, this can later be re-negotiated when you feel that gambling is no longer a problem for you.

I wish you all the very best JKS.

Counsellor Sam

The World’s Most Notorious Gambler

Nick the Greek

‘Nick the Greek’, the world’s most notorious gambler is perhaps one of the most well known examples of a person with problem gambling desperately chasing his losses – a sure way to cause yourself more harm and potentially get into even more debt.

Nick’s game was poker and he had a “career” in the game spanning 60 years, Nick won and lost more money than most of us could earn in a lifetime.

At one stage Nick was down $500 million, but he still found the excitement of gambling hard to resist. He falsely believed he could still win it back, he still needed the action, continued to chase his losses and lost more.

Desperately wanting to gamble more even when faced with such huge losses, clearly Nick’s case illustrates the powerful hold gambling can have over people.

Perhaps to begin with Nick had a good time with his poker mates? But as the losses continued, I wonder whether poker was so much fun and how many of his poker mates were his real friends?

‘Nick the Greek’ continued to gamble even when he was ‘broke’. He continued to play poker with just $5 and justified this by telling himself “it’s still action isn’t it?”

Is it possible that he felt ‘action’ only when he won? Something to consider is that gambling places stress on the body – emotionally and physically – it starts a chemical process in the brain where “winning” makes you feel ‘good’ and “losing” causes you to feel ‘bad’. Many gamblers talk about the highs and lows and how they became more desperate to win back all they had lost. Often it isn’t just the money, gamblers commonly see the next big win as the cure for family problems and relationship difficulties.

I wonder what else ‘Nick the Greek’ could have done with his $500 million? What other ways could he have spent the money to give him more enjoyment! When he was gambling did he ever think his retirement would be one marked by poverty?

Nick still tells himself he’s getting some action. Does he mean that this is the only way he has to relieve his boredom? Perhaps having distanced himself from his family and friends after years of gambling, gambling is all he has?

Perhaps he still finds the gambling entertaining, even though he is gambling at a ‘safe’ level? If the latter is true does it mean that anyone with heavy spending on problem gambling could implement ‘controlled’ gambling to minimize the harm to themselves and those around them?

If you practiced safe gambling, would you still feel the same way as ‘Nick the Greek’ and believe some action was better than none? Would it satisfy the urge and reduce the likelihood of causing greater harm?

Controlled gambling involves deciding on a limit and sticking to. It is sometimes difficult for people who are heavy gamblers to implement controlled gambling, but for some people it can get them back on track.

If you’d like to start controlled gambling, remember there is help available. Begin by contacting Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 for information and free materials. Controlled gambling strategies include only carrying the money that you intend to gamble, not carrying credit/ATM cards, lowering limits on these cards, having a support person, setting up direct debits for accounts that must be regularly paid, and being honest about where you are going and what you are doing.

Alternatively, the enormous losses of the notorious ‘Nick the Greek’ and his eventual impoverished retirement may encourage you to seek help with the aim of quitting gambling all together. If you know you have a problem with gambling and want to quit  contact Gambling Help 1800 858 858.

Women and Gambling

Hi All

I have just read Catherine, Rosa and Caroline’s stories again and it prompted me to think about how many other women are out there trying to gamble away their sadness, grief, losses, horrible memories, anger, frustration and loneliness?

I hear from lots of people about their gambling, and as with Catherine, Rosa and Caroline I hear the pain in their story, sense the anger they have at themselves and their disappointment and frustration.

For many people, gambling brings about a great deal of sadness. There is regret for the lies and the secrecy and a sense of powerlessness over gambling.

Based on the many hundreds of stories I have heard over the years, I know that gambling, and in particular poker machines, and women can be a lethal mix.

Many gambling venues are very attractive to women – and they are designed that way. I hear from women about how they can walk into some venues alone and be greeted warmly by the friendly familiar staff and feel a sense of belonging.

While many women hate themselves for going to the venue again, knowing they will gamble money they know they can’t afford, they still have the thought that this time they might win. This time it might be different. Many people try and rationalize their gambling, telling themselves that somebody has to win and this time it might be them. But it usually isn’t and often problems become worse.

We know that long-term players do not win on pokies, yet many of us struggle to stop playing or to keep our playing at affordable levels. We also see people gambling more, and more women gambling. The question is why?

Something to consider is why we are attracted to gambling? On some levels it is simple – going to a club or pub or casino to gamble allows us to escape, to zone out, even if it’s just for a very short time.

We enter another world and stop thinking about our sadness. We forget our grief, our losses, work, or lack of work, relationships or lack of relationships and loneliness. We forget past traumas, health issues, past loves, our children (who might be driving us insane or our parents who might be). We escape our care-giving roles, and life in general. While we know gambling isn’t really helping us, and for some is causing even more problems, we find ourselves there in front of the machine. Then new worries set in.

When we struggle with gambling related problems, we are scared of what is happening and who to trust. We worry about what will people think. We think awful things about ourselves “I’m so weak”, “I gambled again, I’m so stupid”. It’s also common to get caught up in keeping it secret. “I can’t tell anyone”, “It’s so much money, what do I do?”

All I can say to you is let someone help.

Gambling Counsellors understand you and what it’s like. Some of us have had personal experiences with gambling.

My mum lost my dad, her husband of 30 years and the only man she had ever been with and loved. The local club became the perfect place for her – a wealthy, lonely widow, looking to escape.  My mum gambled everything away and now lives in a caravan. She now says she really didn’t want the money as it kept reminding her that her husband was dead. She says she kept playing and playing to escape. The sad thing was she kept it hidden, no one knew and no one told us. She was another sad, lonely, grieving person going unchecked.

Most of my clients are women and many have experienced either trauma, abandonment or abuse and nearly all report to be suffering from depression and anxiety.

For a lot of people, gambling is a coping or survival strategy that helps them deal with psychological, physical and emotional pain (Boughton 2003).

Many of my clients are now in prison. All of them state they were abused either physically, emotionally or financially and some are now serving six years for gambling-related crimes.

When they were gambling they were too ashamed to talk to anyone and didn’t seek help. For many it’s only now through their counselling sessions in prison that they understand why and how their gambling evolved.

I often wonder how many other women are out there trying to gamble away their sadness, grief, losses, horrible memories, anger, frustration and loneliness, and I wish that I had a magic wand to take away the pain and stop the gambling.

Sadly there is no magic wand, but we know gambling is often a symptom of what’s really happening and we can work with that. Often we find the problems we are trying to escape by gambling bubbling along underneath, possibly in your subconscious. Sometime we know what they are but find it too painful and or shameful to address.

Sometimes gambling serves a purpose, it’s a way of coping with a situation or surviving trauma but many people have found the courage to say “I want life to be different. Gambling isn’t working for me anymore.” and they have found help to change their gambling and address some of the other problems in their life.

Just like Rosa, Caroline and Catherine these people have great courage.

I sincerely hope everyone who reads the stories, who perhaps relate to the stories being shared or know someone who gambles, will be encouraged to support them to seek counselling.  Sharing a story and telling someone you have a problem can be the start of something really good.

Is it time you told the truth about your gambling and maybe started to reshape your life into what you want it to be?

Counsellor Sam

How to Stop Gambling

I have a problem with gambling. I want to stop gambling but don’t know where to start.

For anyone who thinks they have a problem with gambling, an important place to start is being honest.

A cycle of problem gambling can be broken, and it starts with the person with the gambling problem being honest about their gambling – admitting that problem gambling is affecting their life.

Problem gamblers are often caught up in a series of lies, not only to other people, but to themselves.

People troubled by problem gambling often lie so that they can get more money to gamble and have more time to gamble. They commonly lie about where they are going and what they are doing, where they are and who they are with. Problem gamblers often lie about what they need money for, how long they have been at the gambling venue, when they are coming home, and so on.

Someone with a gambling problem commonly lies to themselves, telling themselves that this time they will win and they will “get back” the money that they have lost. Some gamblers also dream about sharing their big wins with their friends and family. They keep telling themselves they’ll pay back any money they have borrowed (or stolen), but in reality a big win is unlikely and they usually put most of their winnings back into gambling. Problem gamblers keep chasing their losses, and the lies start again.

Many people with gambling problems believe they can keep their problem secret and often lie to family and friends to hide the extent of their problems. Usually, the constant lying tends to make the person with the gambling problem feel bad about themselves and they commonly become more isolated and alone. They no longer attend activities with their family and friends and often withdraw from everyone – especially those they owe money.

A person with a gambling problem can often be in denial about how problem gambling is affecting their relationships, work performance and health, and an honest look at these areas can be the start of turning around a gambling problem.

Start by asking questions and answer them honestly. When you lose money gambling do you feel anxious and depressed? Do you worry when you don’t have money to pay bills? Is your physical health suffering, maybe headaches, heart burn, indigestion or sleep problems?

Once a person with a gambling problem tries to be honest with themselves and those who are close to them about the effect problem gambling is having on their life, stopping or controlling their problem gambling will often take a different turn.

How to turn around a gambling problem and make positive changes

Anyone with a gambling problem needs to put in place some type of strategy to prevent their money from going to straight to gambling.

For many people with problem gambling, money has lost all meaning. They tend to place bets for large sums of money no longer realising the value of the amount they are risking. They no longer save money to buy things like they did in the past, and often don’t use money for anything other than gambling or think about what money can buy other than gambling.

Many of the best money managing strategies are simple:

• Carry only small amounts of cash and leave credit and ATM cards at home, perhaps with someone you trust.
• Lower daily ATM withdrawal limits
• Set up payments so that only a small amount of money is put into an account with ATM card access each week and manage salary deposits so the bulk of your money goes into an account with no ATM-card access.
• Set up automatic bill paying or direct debits to make rent/mortgage and bill payments on pay day or ensure money is deposited into separate accounts (with only passbook access).

With the support of those around them, the person with a problem gambling may decide to seek professional help.

Specialist gambling counsellors are in most areas and free counselling services can be found by searching help near you on www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au.

You can also speak with a counsellor by calling Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 or chat online with a gambling counsellor http://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au.

Alternatively, you might prefer to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Sometimes people who are problem gamblers also need financial help as many find it difficult to cope with debts.

Financial counsellors can help the person with problem gambling by providing helpful ways to manage money. They can also negotiate with creditors and assist with debt management. Financial counsellors can found by calling 1800 858 858 and the Credit and Debt Hotline 1800 808 488 can also provide assistance.

Problem gamblers sometimes need legal help, especially for debt or crimes committed to support gambling addiction. Gambling Help 1800 858 858 can also direct people to free legal advice. Legal help can also be found by calling the Law Access Line 1300 888 529 or 1300 889 529 TTY.

It is important to remember that those who are close to someone with a gambling problem are often relieved to be told the truth and asked to help by supporting the problem gambler as they seek specialist help.

Tools to help

By clicking on this link and answering the questions about gambling honestly http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/GamblingHelp/GamblingCalculator.aspx you can see how much money you are actually spending each year on gambling, and assess whether that is causing financial problems.

Keeping a Gambling Diary may help a person with a gambling problem take control of their gambling and understand it. Click on this link to download a gambling diary or to have it sent to you http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/GamblingHelp/workbook.aspx

A person with problem gambling can now begin to think about the reason that they gamble e.g. to win money, for entertainment or excitement, to escape, numb out pain, socialise, boredom, and loneliness and so on.

The next step is to come up with other healthy ways and activities to fill their needs, ways to get the same feeling without resorting to gambling. The person with the problem gambling may also need to distance themselves from their old gambling friends and find new friends.

Once having examined their motivation to gamble the person with the gambling problem can now more readily decide whether they want to stop or control their gambling.

If the person with the problem gambling decides that they want to stop gambling they may wish to consider Self Exclusion. They will be able to exclude themselves from clubs, casinos, pubs, TAB and online betting. Click on this link for more information http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/content/take-action.aspx

If they decide to control their gambling, it may be necessary to change some aspects of their thinking. Most importantly the person with gambling problem should now be expecting to lose money, be able to set a budget and stick to it, and never chase their losses.

If the person with the problem, gambles heavily on the poker machine clicking on this link to watch a DVD about the myths and truths of poker machines may help

http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/content/how-do-pokies-really-work.aspx

Finally, being mindful and honest about where the person with the problem gambling is going, what they are doing and their real intentions are may also help.

Remember specialist, confidential free help is available, call 1800 858 858 or click help near you www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au

Brad’s Story

I'm the unluckiest gambler

I recently received this email from Brad who wanted to share his story with me.

I’m only 18, and gambling is starting to ruin my life.. I dont play pokie machines because I know the chances of winning. I love sport betting. I work really hard for my job and money. I have nothing and I’ve earned about $8,000 in the last 4 months. I just recently lost $2000 this weekend. I always get my bets 95% right, and there’s usually one upset. I just cant work it out. What I’m doing wrong.. I just keep chasing all the time. In the footy last week, it came down storm to beat warriors for a few thousand and they lost. They should of smashed them. I’m one of the most unluckiest gamblers you’ll ever see. I wanna stop, but I cant. If I put $100 on red, black comes out, $100 on odd, zero comes out. Its all luck and chance, but I dont have any. I’m sick of the upsets, its always one game. I’m not sure what I’ve lost in total, but I’m starting to lose alot of respect off my mates, and its hitting me deep. I need help, otherwise I know my next paycheck is going towards a sports multi or the horses and greys. All I want is to win that big one that gets me near back to even and I’ll quit. I know its coming, but how many years? I cant keep throwing my money away. I’m a dissapointment to myself and my friends and family.

It is very rare for an 18 year old to admit that gambling has become a problem. What is common is for an 18 year old to have a problem and deny it for another 5-10 years while the problem becomes worse. It takes a lot of guts to reach out and get help and that deserves respect – good one.  Recognising you need help also shows that you have real strength and that is a good sign that you can turn this around.

Brad, it’s important you look at gambling for what it is. You are not the unluckiest person in the world and the losses do not reflect who you are as a person, so don’t let them dictate that.

Gambling is about chance and it’s usually a very small chance that we will win.

You might not believe me when I say this, but you will be waiting your whole life for that big win that gets you even.

Imagine dedicating your whole life to chasing that one big win. Think of all of the experiences you will miss out on…

Do you know why it will take a whole life time? Because when you get that big win you will feel really lucky and slowly lose it all in subsequent bets.

Think about that for a sec.

I’ve spoken to heaps of young guys in similar situations to you, and they’ve all told me the same thing. They lose hundreds of thousands of dollars chasing that “big win” only to lose it all and more because they can’t stop even if they get it. If we do happen to win, it is really common for our minds start playing with us…our brain kind of goes off on its own coming up with really unhelpful thoughts like “If I double this I’ll recover all my losses and have money left over to buy…” or “I’m on a roll! I can’t stop now or I’ll never get this chance again”, but it’s more likely that we lose.

Gambling is all about chance. There are not lucky or unlucky people. When you hear about other people’s big wins it only sounds good because they haven’t told you about all the money they lost to get it.

Think about it, would you tell people about how much you lost or how much you won?

Brad, even if a game seems like a sure thing, it is rare that you would get it right 100% of the time.

There are so many variables – a  player may get injured during the match, it might start raining, people might be having an off day; you never know what is going to happen.

Another thing to think about is if you are getting 95% of your bets right then how come you are losing so much money?

Is the one time that you are losing a much bigger bet then your normal bets, or is it because you are actually losing more than you remember?

A really common trick for our brains to play on us is to cover up the times that we lose (who wants to remember those?)

Our minds celebrate the wins and easily discard the losses.

If you continue to bet in the coming weeks then it may help to record EVERY SINGLE bet, whether you win or lose, and total up how much you won and lost.

This is an easy way to see for yourself how much you are actually losing.

Brad, it sounds like the respect of your mates is an important thing to you, so try writing down a list of ways in which you can regain their respect and work on it as a to-do list. It might be something as simple as spending more time with them, or going out and not gambling. I know that if I saw a mate who was struggling taking measures to bounce back I’d be willing to help them out – and I’d reckon most of your mates will too. It takes time though.You can’t just buy back their respect. You’ll have to earn their trust and respect, but if you’re determined to change things for the better, this is a good place to start..

As a short-term solution, here are some things you can try when you get your next pay:

- immediately pay any bills, rent etc and buy food and neccessities for the pay period

- only take out the money that you need for what you are doing and leave your cards at home (or better yet leave them with someone you trust who will not be afraid to say no when you ask for them)

- if you go to the TAB (or wherever you go) after work on pay day, then plan another route home so you can avoid it

- do something else that you enjoy when a game is on.

It takes time to get things back to normal, but I think that you’ve made a great start. You’ve recognised there is a problem and you’ve decided to do something about it and that shows a lot of courage.

If you feel up for it, a face-to-face gambling counsellor might be a good next step.

These services are free and there is no time limit so you can use the service for as long or short as you need. Gambling counsellors are there to guide you through the process of doing something about your gambling (whether it’s stopping or cutting back, the choice is yours).

Gambling counsellors understand gambling and they can offer support and a lot of practical strategies to get you to where you want to be.

You can find the nearest counsellor by visiting http://www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au/GamblingHelp/HelpNearYou/Search.aspx or contacting Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 (free from a landline and it’s a 24/7 service so you can call anytime).

If you think that you are not up for seeing somebody in person, you can always talk to the experts on the 1800 858 858 number (free and confidential) or try www.gamblinghelponline.org.au where you can email or instant message with a counsellor. Of course you can continue to contact me for any specific questions you might have.

It can be a bit confronting talking to a counsellor if you are not used to it, but having a regular appointment with someone you can trust can really help – and a lot of people have been able to take control of their gambling with help and support.

What ever you decide to do, it’d be great to hear from you again, and if there’s anything else you need to know please just ask.

Regards, Sam

Ask Counsellor Sam

Ask Counsellor Sam

You might be wondering how to approach a friend and ask them if they have a problem with gambling? You could be thinking about calling Gambling Help but you aren’t sure what will happen.  Whatever you want to know, or want help with, this is the place for any question you have about gambling.  Check out some of the questions Sam’s helped with so far…Do you have a question about gambling?

Counsellor Sam, I realise finally that I am addicted to pokies. I should know better as I work in a club and see it every day, I have been playing pokies after work and on my days off but today I want to be the start of stopping like I did when I stopped smoking cold turkey! If I just think of all the money wasted I could have had a beautiful overseas holiday. NO MORE BLAMING MY HUSBAND FOR BEING AN ALCOHOLIC DRINKING OUR MONEY AWAY!!!!! BEING LONELY!!!BEING OVERWEIGHT!!!NO THIS IS THE DAY!!! NO MORE POKIES!!!!NO MORE KENO!!! A start of a new life happier and more money in the pocket no more hiding PLEASE GOD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH!!! Mazza

Your enthusiasm is infectious, Mazza! Please contact Gambling Help on 1800858 858 and see a face to face counsellor. It is a confidential service and remember, “god helps those who help themselves”. So, take this step and plan your journey towards abstinence constructively rather than merely thinking that just stopping the expenditure will do it for you. Remember you need to experience success in whatever you plan. As human beings, we get swayed by such experiences so it is important to achieve somesuccesses. If your plan is structured and you have a counsellor with you for support, there is a greater likelihood of success.Gambling is a complex issue, more complex if smoking, alcohol & other things are included. I wish you every success in making this your year. Go for it Mazza..

Take care, Counsellor Sam.

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Hi Counsellor Sam, I had a gambling hangover when I went to Adelaide recently. Donked off $600 playing Poker :’( David

David, how sad that you blew $600 in one go on poker. Hope this didn’t affect the rest of your time in Adelaide. Quite often when people lose they become desperate to try to win back what they have lostand instead of accepting that what is gone is gone, they spend more and more money in a vain attempt to win back their original loss.

For more advice check out www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au site for ideas on managing your gambling and putting controls in place. Always set a limit, take in only a small amount of cash – no cards – and only what you are prepared to lose. With some simple strategies in place you can keep gambling under control.

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Hello Counsellor Sam,

In the last 2 months I have blown $10000+ on the pokies. Even when I was up I’d keep playing till I had nothing left. I was trapped by these machines, I’d started taking my partner’s card and using her wages to play and then tell her a lie to cover it up. In the end I was telling one lie to cover another. I’d lie to my family as well to get money to play. The kick in the head I needed finally arrived when my partner (who I intended to ask to marry me) finally had enough and ended it. I never realised how much damage that it had done. I finally opened up and told my family and loved ones the truth about all of the gambling. I now am in touch with counsellors and they are helping me greatly. It’s only been a week but I haven’t had the urge to play. I know I can kick the habit with help and so can you. THE POKIES ARE KILLERS. STAY AWAY FROM THEM!! Hopefully I can regain the trust of friends, family, loved ones by showing that I can beat the addiction. From sadness there is a positive, by realising that I had a serious problem and doing something to rectify it and get my life back to normal. I CAN DO IT !!! Ang.

Hello Ang, Good on you for doing the right thing and making a conscious decision to address your issues! It is important that you are getting help so please keep up with your appointments. Feeling a sense of achievement and doing well with initial appointments is quite normal, the challenge is to keep at it and be absolutely transparent in your sessions with your counsellor.Yes, you can do it and your counsellor can help, but you need to maintain honesty – especially if it gets tough and you begin to feel some of the old temptations. You have a very positive attitude which will help you a lot. Please keep us informed of your progress – all the best, Counsellor Sam

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Help me Counsellor Sam…They suck you in. It’s all a big scam…That much revenue everyday going to the pubs, clubs and govt. They are all in it together, and we are the suckers who fall for it. They call playing pokies a recreation.

What about the stories they don’t know about like mine and yours. Over $1,000,000 I have pumped through those machines over a 10 year period. Who is gonna save me now? Oh yeah some politicians are fighting to reduce limits. FIGHTING, why are they fighting, remember it’s only a recreation. BULLSHIT, IT’S A BIG SCAM. In 3 hours I put $10,000 in a machine, it took me almost 2 months to make it. RECREATION MY ARSE.

I went to QLD 2 years ago. Went to Jupiter’s Casino, pulled a $1000 from ATM, machines there only accept $20 bills and lock after you pump $100 into them. In 3 hours I blew $400, got the shits and left. NSW GREEDY SCAMMING BASTARDS. My wife is ready to divorce me, my mind is going crazy about the cash I’ve blown, could’ve had my dream home paid off in full, now still living in rent. Oh the pubs are spending $5 million on renovations so we can smoke while we blow our cash.

GET REAL, FIX THE PROBLEM NOW, GET RID OF POKIES, KEEP THEM AT THE CASINOS. THERE IS A GAMING ROOM EVERY 1.5KMS. DO IT FOR MY KIDS SAKE PLEASE. Mike.

Mike…you seem to think that the government and “others” are responsible for your problems. Unfortunately the fact is that you have the choice to be sensible around your gambling. For your sake and for the sake of your kids, please contact Gambling Help for assistance.

It is a confidential environment where you get to address your issues with a psychologist/counsellor.Trust me, this can be your best New Years gift to yourself and your family. Counsellor Sam.

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Hi Counsellor Sam, my story is, I started gambling around 15 years ago. Only an odd 20 or 30 in a pokie. Then I started betting on sports, I’d deposit half my wage in these accounts, yeah I had the odd win but many more losses. I found I couldn’t get my hands on enough money, I then defrauded Centrelink, now I have to go to court as I have been charged. I owe them $23,000 and yes most of it was gambled. Gambling became a way of life for me, when internet gambling sites appeared I had an account with every single one, didn’t pay my bills and was forced to go bankrupt. I now am going to court and maybe even jail, and it’s only now that I have stopped. I am using all that money to pay back my debts to the government. I never ever thought I was addicted but now I know I was. What can I do? Lisa.

Lisa…You have had a rough ride with your problem. It is good that you have made up your mind that you DO have a problem. I suggest you contact Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 and find out which service is closest to you and look at some face to face counseling that will help you with financial repayments and controlling your gambling. In addition to helping with your problem, showing the courts and government agencies that you have come to terms with your problem and are getting help can help with these situations too. I hope you see a specialist counsellor soon and really take charge of your life.You can make some positive changes. All the best! Counsellor Sam.

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Counsellor Sam I want to share my story with you. I have been gambling since I was 20 and now I am 31. I have just stopped gambling not so long ago. I have lost all my savings. I have been working for13 years but because I have been gambling all that money I earned and saved is all gone. Now I have nothing. Plus I have taken $33,000 from my family without telling them. They knew about it later on and were very very upset but lucky they gave me another chance and have told me to repay it ASAP.

I have a really really nice girlfriend that really loves me and now she is feeling stressed and unhappy with me and with my gambling. She almost broke up with me twice but I am lucky it didn’t happen but I am really scared she will leave me one day. With all that money I put in the pokies I would have been able to take my girlfriend on a good holiday and give her nice presents, and do lots of fun stuff together. I wish I didn’t gamble in the first place and that I used that money for something useful. I am very sad, stressedand feeling sick and feel like crap.

This is a tip for everyone: if you never gambled before then keep it that way. If people you know gamble and ask you to come along and play and say to you “oh just put in $10 to $20 and we walk out when it’s gone” say NO No No. Don’t gamble. A lot of problem gamblers started off playing for fun or just playing small at first but later the big problems start. I am a good example. I have been working for 13 years gambling from 20 to 31 and not only have I lost all my savings, I owe my family $33K, and I almost lost my girlfriend who I really love. I don’t know what is happening, maybe she will leave me later on. I am really scared and worried, lets hope I am wrong and I am able to spend the rest of my life with her. So if there is anyone out there who feels like they want to gamble orfeels they can’t control themselves you can look at my story and I am hoping this can help you. Call the 1800-858-858 number if you need any advice and they will give you numbers to call for free face to face gambling counsellors. All the best to everyone and remember don’t gamble. Ken

Hi Ken I really hope you have done what you have suggested others do. Have you contacted the GH line?  It worries me that you are stressed and scared. You do not sound very good and I wonder howwell you are managing your stress? There are so many issues you need to address, please contact the GH line on 1800 858 858 to see a face to face counsellor today. Today is the day Ken. You have struggled with gambling for years, please make this the year you take control and make positive changes.I hope you know it is a confidential service and all referrals counsellors make are also free. Counsellor Sam

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Counsellor Sam….I have lost, sold, stolen and committed fraud in the past to feed this habit, and once again have come close to losing everything I own. I have hurt my family and friends. I have low self-esteem, I can’t afford a haircut, am overweight, look like a dag and live day in and out in the few t-shirts and pants I have, and I own one pair of shoes, due to my gambling. I am behind in rent and am facing eviction, owe $25,000 to my family and have many unpaid bills.

I lost $2,000 in my last binge 3 days ago, which leaves no food money or money for work, smokes, etc.. I am totally fed up to the back teeth with this problem, and am ready to quit. I have been to see a counsellor over the last month or so, and I think I am finally ready to get this monkey off my back once and for all. Gambling is an insidious addiction, that became my focus in life, but it has now become my enemy and I despise it and myself, and want my life back. I have a tough few years ahead of me paying back what I owe, but have come to realise that I’m not going to win this money to pay off bills and family, only hard work and quitting gambling is going to do it. I have done many shameful things to feed this addiction, and am saddened by the fact that now at 42 years of age I have started to come to my senses.

I wish I had given up years ago, and given my family the lifestyle that they deserve. It’s a hard battle but I feel this time I have finally hit rock bottom, and the only way to deal with this is to pick myself up, dust myself off and just get on with it. I am lucky! I have a supportive family, great job and my health. Good luck to anyone who is dealing with this addiction, I wish you well and encourage you to get help A.S.A.P. Don’t waste years hoping for the big win! It ain’t gonna happen.

Take it from me. I am not one who feels comfortable attending G.A as I have in the past, however I know that I can’t and won’t be able to do it alone, so I will continue seeing my counsellor from life line, and having been gambling free for the last 9 days, feel that this time I have the chance to beat this problem.

I feel so tired of my life as a gambler, and counselling has helped, along with this feeling deep inside of me, that I have had enough of the poverty, lies, cheating and low self-esteem, that goes hand in hand with this disease. I hope you can help me, Kim.

Hi Kim. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Good on you for making the
decision to quit gambling and get back in control of your life. And well
done on being gambling free for the past few days – that’s great!

When I read your story, many of the clients I have seen came to mind. The
shame, guilt, lies, cheating and low self-esteem that you speak of, are very
common experiences for many gamblers. You can turn this around. Even after a
few weeks or months of not gambling, many people are pleasantly surprised by
how much “freer” they feel, how much more control they have in their life,
how much better they feel about themselves.

There will be hard days, but there will also be more and more good days as you go along. You’re right, it may take some years to repay the money you owe. But in doing so, you will rebuild your self-esteem and pride by taking responsibility for your actions and addressing these issues head on.

It’s wonderful to hear you have support behind you, and a real willingness
for things to be better for both you and your family. You can definitely do
this!!

Feel free to utilise any of the Gambling Help resources as you work
through this – visit www.gamblinghelp.nsw.gov.au for great tips and info.
All the best! Sam

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I’m sitting here reading all these stories about addiction to the poker machines and I relate to everything that is being said. The big losses, the constant financial worries, the loneliness, the big wins that make it even worse. How many times have I won over $1000 and thought this is it, it’s time to stop and use that cash to recover, and how many times have I failed, and ended up losing twice, or three times that amount. Stopping cold turkey has been impossible for me, but I have already cut up all my credit cards and limiting my access to cash. I think convenience, and easy access to money is one major factor that contributes to this hellish life, I’m hoping I can make it through this… Matt.

Matt…Cutting up your credit cards is a good start, but the true reason why someone continues to gamble is because they think they can beat the machines and know how to do it.

Matt, it is really important that you get some expert help and support to control your gambling. You can contact Gambling Help on 1800 858 858 and find out the closest service to you.  You will have a greater chance of success if you approach your issues in a structured manner.  You have already started on some good work but cutting up cards and identifying that access to funds is just the beginning. You will be amazed by how much you can learn when you attend a counseling session. Many people make half-hearted attempts to give up gambling on their own and sadly repeatedly fail.  With help, you can be in control and really address your  issues. You can make the choice not to gamble. All the best! Counsellor Sam.

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I started gambling when I was 18. My journey has been one of a physical kind as I have been trying to get back all of the money I have lost over the years into the pokies. Roulette – all I can say is when you put $7,000 on red, it’s going to come up on either black or zero, so no matter how hard you try, or how smart you think your system is, it isn’t. Einstein couldn’t figure out a way to beat roulette, so what chance have you got? The smartest way to get out of your addiction is as follows:

When you go out withdraw $10 and give your mate your card. Tell them not to give it back to you under any circumstances that night. Then go have a good time, maybe with a bottle of wine. Haters gonna hate. Frank.

Frank…I am not sure that Einstein was a gambler, but either way I think that the smart money is on counselling sessions. Counselling will help you address all your issues around gambling and get back in control. Gambling is a complex problem best approached in an appropriate manner with professional assistance. While friends can be supportive and help you resist gambling urges most of the time there are more issues at play and to really control your gambling you need to understand those. Counsellor sam.

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