I received this message from MC who is struggling with a range of different emotions about his gambling.
I’ve been in bed for three days, sleeping, avoiding, fantasizing. On Friday night I drove to Sydney with $4,500 – drove back home 2 hours later with nothing. I’ve been down this road many times before. Now I’m left with guilt, shame, despair, panic, depression, loneliness. I’ve got things to face but have been hiding away wishing it wasn’t real. I was contemplating suicide the other day. But I’ve managed to hang on and this morning I made an appointment with a gambling counselor. My first step. I hope it leads to another step. I hope to write again in the future in a better state of mind. This is hell. The hiding, the lies, the pretending.
Hi MC I am sad to hear about the situation you are in. It sounds overwhelming, yet you have found the courage and strength to continue and make the decision to change – and that’s great. Recognising that you need help and asking for it can be the hardest step – so good on you for calling a gambling counsellor .
It must be a bad place to be in, feeling so depressed, but it’s great to hear that you are feeling better than you did three days ago. Hold on to that, and know that when you start working with a problem gambling expert, you are starting to take control of the problem, so every day has the potential to be a little better.
Remember you are not alone in trying to deal with a gambling problem, and there are lots of free support services out there including the 1800 858 858 number and www.gamblinghelponline.org.au where you can get help any time of the day, any day of the year. For anyone looking for free counselling services near them, just click on this link and type in your postcode (or call 1800 858 858 and they will be able to give you the details of a free service in your area)
MC great work. Let us know how you are getting on.