Rebuilding Trust: How to tell if your partner has stopped gambling

When someone is struggling with a gambling problem, it is common for there to be a history of secrecy and hiding things — especially around money. A question for partners is “How can I trust that the gambling has stopped?”

While there is no foolproof way to tell whether someone is gambling, there are strategies you can use to ease your mind about your partner’s current spending and your future financial position. 

An important first step is to seek the help of a financial counsellor.   They can ensure the assets of each person are protected and help manage debts. A financial counsellor can help you and your partner to work out a plan to get your finances back on track. Gambling Help services can help you get connected to a financial counsellor or you can find one on the Gambling Help NSW website.

As with other areas of your life, honesty is essential but when gambling has been an issue this may need to be demonstrated.  For example:

  • If you have a joint bank account, make sure both partners can see exactly what is going in and out. Joint bank accounts carry a certain amount of risk for both partners, so be sure to inform yourself about these risks, which you can do by visiting https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/managing-your-money/banking/joint-accounts
  • Credit reports are one measure of a person’s financial situation. Credit scores are impacted by numerous factors relating to one’s history of applying for credit. It is possible to get a free yearly credit report by visiting www.veda.com.au.   If you are worried about a partner’s gambling obtaining a credit report may be a sensible first step to take after speaking to a financial counsellor.
  • Some people choose to have an agreement where their partner can look at their personal accounts at any time without notice, i.e. by sharing passwords, while others arrange regular times to sit down and review accounts together. Making time for these conversations is an essential step in rebuilding trust when working through problems associated with a partner’s gambling.

Rebuilding trust takes time. It is important to be patient and gentle with yourself during what is often a stressful time for those impacted by someone’s gambling. Support is always available for both the gambler and their partner through Gambler’s Help services. If you would like to speak to a counsellor about this or any other issue related to your partner’s gambling, please call 1800 858 858.

One thought on “Rebuilding Trust: How to tell if your partner has stopped gambling

  1. I guess i can tell my story here. Firstly, this article is very realistic and a practical guide. I can say I am a recovered gambling addict. Sober for over a year now. And looking back, the joint account and financial stability were badly at stake because of my addiction. With professional help and undying understand of my wife, I was able to slowly regain control of my spending.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s