I don’t want to manage their money anymore. How do I tell them?

Many people find it useful to have someone temporarily manage their money while they are trying to change their gambling habits. When it works, this is a fantastic strategy, but there can be times when this approach harms more than it helps. Whether you’re helping out a partner, friend or relative, controlling access to their money might be stressful for you and cause strain in your relationship — especially if they continue to gamble or repeatedly break the agreement you have with them.

It might come to the point where you can no longer help them manage their money. Be prepared for the possibility that they will react negatively. You can increase the likelihood of a positive outcome by planning your conversation with them. Here are some tips:

  • Time it wisely: Are they a morning or evening person? Where do your best conversations with them happen? Consider past conversations you’ve had with them at different times and situations and think about how well they have gone. It’s best to raise the topic at a time when they are calm and not in the heat of an ongoing argument.
  • Define your limits clearly: Let the person know exactly why you are no longer able to help manage their money. Be specific and explain why you feel it would be best if they sought help with their money from someone else. Refer to the agreement you made with them when you first agreed to help them. Call Gambling Help, who can refer them to a Financial Counsellor.
  • Remind them you are still there for them: It can also be helpful to let them know what types of continuing support you are able to provide. Let them know you still care and want to be there for them in other ways.

Deciding to stop managing your friend or loved one’s money can be a difficult decision and stir up uncomfortable emotions. If you want to have a conversation about whether this is the right decision for you and your friend or loved one, or would like more support to approach this conversation, free and professional counsellors are available 24/7 on 1800 858 858.

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